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Practically everyone in my old high school friend group in has tried to commit suicide at some point in their life. Three of my best friends had depression. My cousin tried to jump in front of a train and got saved by a stranger, which is something I found out through a mutual friend, and I'll never let her know that I know. Someone I was pretty close with (who I don't talk to anymore for unrelated reasons) tried to jump in front of a train just months ago, but was talked out of it by that same cousin. My ex tried to kill themself long before I even met them, and in another timeline maybe I never did get to meet them. Same thing with one of my best friends now. I had online friends in high school that I tried to comfort through the worst times of their life while knowing there was nothing real I could do for them. I, like many of my old friends, struggled with self-harm and suicidal thoughts, but I suddenly lost three family members in one year which taught me the reality of death and grief. I started thinking of suicide as something selfish. I never quite realised how much the mental health of my past friends affected my own. I'm out of high school now and I feel like I'm just desensitised to it all. People I used to love could die today or tomorrow by their own hand and I've just accepted this as a possibility now. At one point I made a whole plan for myself, how I would do it and when and what I would write in my note, but I don't think I could ever have done it. I'm glad I'm a coward. My friends were always more brave. I really hate the concept of suicide. I hate that I can try my hardest to help someone and still lose them. I hate that my old friends didn't think about the chain reaction their deaths would've caused in our friend group. If any one of them had succeeded, then most of them would have. We were all so close to the edge.
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hey there, I'm so sorry for what you've gone through, and I want you to realize that you already made it this far, don't give up now, I don't know you, but i love you and bless your heart and may god give you a life with happiness and peace bc through all this you really need it, stay with us dude, i'll come back, don't leave.
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