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My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years and now that we're longer distance, I just don't feel like I'm being appreciated enough. He only lives an hour away from me so we visit each other once a week but I feel like that once a week is worthless. We don't do anything special and he's usually just on his phone the entire time anyways. He rarely buys me gifts or flowers or anything of the sort and I know that I shouldn't expect him to but I've asked him dozens of times. Sure he'll buy those things if I mention it to him but after a week or two, he seems to forget that I even asked in the first place.
Along with that, he never seems to compliment me anymore. He used to more at the beginning of the relationship but I don't know what changed. Unless I'm practically begging for compliments, he won't say a thing to me and it's started making me insecure. Even when we went to prom and formal together, he didn't even call me pretty. He had no reaction to seeing me. It was just like any other day.
Finally, the biggest one of all, is the fact that I'm asexual and he isn't. I can tell that he is a very sexual person and sometimes I feel like I have to do something just to satisfy him and prove that I'm a good girlfriend. This also brings up worries about him cheating on me as well as just general insecurity.
There are more, smaller problems that I'm choosing not to address but these are the ones that are making me question whether or not I should stay with him. Yes, I've brought all of this up to him and no, nothing has changed yet. If you don't think I should break up with him, do you have any advice?
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listen, it sounds like you are young. life is so meaningful and it is too short to be spent feeling unhappy. im not going to say you should leave but if you feel unhappy... something is not right. you deserve someone who gives you everything you want. and most importantly you deserve to be happy
ReplyI'm in the same situation with this guy I met 5months ago, and now it feels like I'm chasing him. I think about him always, and he says he is too busy. I know it's hard to accept but when you're too busy for someone, you don't love them enough. Better to get over this before it's too late.
ReplyHe is taking you for granted and doesn't care that much any more. Tell him that if he doesn't put more effort into this relationship it will be over.
ReplyDump him. You tried talking to him about it, but if he didn’t listen there’s nothing else you can do. Either break up or suffer with more of this since he’s not willing to change.
ReplySo you are forcing yourself to be sexual and he is forcing himself not to be. That's sad.
ReplyFor people who are physically and emotionally available - romantic relationships usually spark when you are around people with whom you share similar interests. Perhaps join a group of hobbyists, sports team, volunteer group, etc. IF AND AFTER you decide to end your current relationship.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required, although the former and latter are admirable if practiced freely out of one's own free will and without the threat of being beheaded. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
Love...that powerful, invisible force that cannot be denied; even atheists live and die by it.
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