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i have so much pent up that i just want to kill someone. not anyone in particular, i just want to see how it feels. my morals wont allow it because its literally murder, but i just want to do it instinctually. i have never let out my emotions in my entire life to keep up a perception of myself that isnt even fucking desireble. no one even likes me and im convinced tthe people that hang out with me just pity me. every once in a while the real me pokes through and when that happens i notice people becoming uncomfortable which makes me continue the act. i know that following through with my instincts will have major consequences and that i wont even make me feel better about myself, but my unconsious doesnt consider this. help.
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i understand how you feel. i feel like i have felt this way in my back of my mind, but i have another big issue that pushes it back, after a while it left me completely. i would just try and distract myself for now, if that doesnt work maybe seek a therapist or someone close to talk to about it.
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