I've dreamt you again

I’ve dreamt you again, I won’t deny you’ve kept my midnight company countless times- but seldom have I let my mind savour, or engage, a sleepy hearts fantasy. Most of your appearances are worn with mornings thoughts, and weight of reality- in those dreams where my heart seeks to seduce me, I’ve denied it- I’ve turned my head to a kiss, talked down your touch- I shove and push from the fleeting fantasy, knowing it could never be real, knowing these dreams could only ever tease and torment me. But, this night, I could not care for tomorrow. I gripped onto this dream and selfishly pursued the sinking fantasy. You held me and I sunk to your touch; warmth, wholeness, love, belonging -
 I could not fathom the depth of the feeling or recall it with the vividity of the dream. I woke- with a gaping hole through my heart, an indescribable emptiness in my lungs, and only a fleeting taste of that serenity on my tongue. - I could not cry or move - like my heart could not accept the harsh reality, could not forgive my minds trickery. yet still, I curse myself and wish for endless nights like that. If midnight is the only world in which I have you, then I will have my midnight lover and cherish you for every hour of my nights.