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I used to believe that friends always stay. It doesn’t matter how big the fight can be you’ll always find a way to come back for each other. When it came to the time where I found out that was just a stupid fantasy. Friends will come and go. There will always be some that stab you in the back or ditch you. I have anger issues and it comes from my father he was a narcissist with anger problems. It affected me growing up I would make a whole bunch of trouble for no reason due to the uncontrollable feelings i had. When I got into an argument my whole friendgroup came after me. Although I was in the wrong everyone never found the chance to forgive me. I was picked on for several months and I eventually gave up on apologizing. As much as I tried to get their attention to say i’m sorry it would never work. I was too tired of apologizing and if my own friendgroup can’t forgive me, I thought apologizing wasn’t an important thing then. I stopped apologizing for everything and stopped caring for anyone. I wish I still had empathy but after getting hurt by the people i used to call my bestfriends, I did not care. It hurts the most knowing that your own “family” can be so cruel. I felt liek so alone for many months. Just when I thought everything can get worst my real family betrayed me. If no one in this world can deal with me what’s the point of even being here. I’m so tired of trying to please everyone, it never works. I feel like i need to be away from everyone. Like a bird leaving the nest. I may be a mess to others but inside i feel clean.
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You are worth more then you know and for those who lost you its their loss to never get to know someone as great as you and yeah you may not know me and i may not know you but be proud of yourself you got further then you thought you got through all of that why give up when there is so much left you can experience real friends and real love and care soon all your pain will be but a distant memory hope all gets well. just remember your trying, no one is perfect.
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