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Hello. This is your present self.
To be honest with you, I don’t really remember you that much. I don’t know if you were truly happy, if you were sad, if you were really okay. All I know is life was tough back then and it isn’t gonna get better you know.
I always long for the day where I can go back to the past and do what I wanna do. I should’ve enjoyed more. I should’ve said what I felt…If only I was brave.
I remember you saying that you will be better when you grow older. Sorry to say but it just got worse. Hehe.
You know, you should’ve expressed yourself more because I am having a hard time expressing myself now. I don’t even know what I am feeling right now. I have so many thoughts… but when I try to speak I couldn’t speak the word that I really wanna say.
No. I’m not blaming you. I’m just saying that I’m having a hard time opening up to somebody not even to my friends, my boyfriend (yes you will have a boyfriend and he is the best person you’ll ever meet), and to my parents or should I say our parents. I might just add that even if our parents isn’t the best parents out there you will learn to appreciate them more when you grow up. You’ll even tear up a little(or more) when you think that they will be gone soon. They are getting old. You might want to talk to them more.
Anyway… I am trying to look at life in a positive light but sometimes I can’t see no light at all. Oh! Speaking of light, you are straying away from your “God” now. So if you just wanna work on that you know I think that could help me? I guess?
So, what I really what to say to you is that even if I don’t remember you that much.. I still miss you. We could have done better.
I feel like a failure here in the present. I hope you could do much better in the past.
Remember when you joined a singing competition and you lost because the instrumental CD didn’t play but you still sang without the instrumental? You were so cool. But you should’ve not stopped there… you should’ve joined in hundred more singing competitions.
Remember the time when you joined a dance group because you also like dancing but you stopped because you feel like no one is supporting you. Well, your friends were supporting you and eventually our parents will.
Ah. I remember you now. You were bright. I wish I made you brighter. Sorry, I become like this. Sorry, if you will be disappointed in the future. I’m so sorry. I’m gonna remember you always. And if ever you read this, please keep your bright smile as it lost its shine here in the present. I hope that you are truly happy in the past. I wish I could still feel that happiness.
Thank you my past self.
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You have no idea how much i want to give you a hug right now.
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