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I am asking this question, but this is a question that you need to ask yourself.
I'm not asking you to commit to anything, to put anything in stone. I'm not asking for an answer here and now, in fact I would prefer you waited and thought about it.
The question is, 'Do you want a relationship with me again, and are you prepared to work towards it?'
There are two parts to that question. This first is simpler. In an ideal world, where I am emotionally healthy, and we are able to have a healthy relationship where we are both able to communicate, resolve conflict, have shared and separate interests, and don't drive each other up the walls too often. In this ideal world, would being in relationship with me be something you would want or desire.
The next question is harder to answer, because it is a hypothetical without a situation. It is really about reassuring me that it isn't all up to me, and you are willing to meet me part way - in the healthy middle.
Now, the healthy middle might be one step for you, but 10 steps for me - I'm not saying we need to compromise 50:50 in all things. I know I have a lot of work to do and ground to catch up, and I recognise that I may not be able to reach that point. But are you willing to cooperate with me and work with me on some things.
When I have asked this in the past, you have asked for specifics. I understand that you may be feeling I am trying to trap you. What I am asking not for you to commit yes of no to some specific examples, but commit to examining anything that may come up in the future fairly on its merits, and if you think it is reasonable would you work on it with me.
As an example, I think we would compromise when it comes to communication, I would like to have some more routine check-ins. These may seem pointless to you, but they can reassure both of us things are on-track. I know I need to work on being less anxious and 'needy' during these, it is still largely up to me.
I tried to ask these questions in a counseling session, but I don't think you could understand what I was asking. Maybe you still can't. Since then, I my anxiety that was already bad has gotten worse. I felt that it was all up to be to live up to your expectations. Any time I thought of asking you to work on something I thought you would say no, and felt rejected, alone and like a failure. This made working on what I needed to work on harder than it already was.
I want a partnership with you, I wonder if you can still picture a partnership with me.
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