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I don't know where to begin really. I feel so overwhelmed and numb at the same time. I wanna sleep but my chest feels so heavy and my mind is running non stop. I guess I should talk about what happened today. A friend of my brother's fucked up,he got laid with my brothers ex and lied about it and we found out half a year later. That's not a problem of mine though is it? What fucked me up is that,this guy, kept judging me about who I used to be such a long time ago. I lied to him when we were a thing 4 and a half years ago,but i made amends. He treated me like a piece of shit for two years,he acted like I was a fuckin villain,but I made it right. I took full responsibility of my actions after I got my shit together and I started my self development journey, I admitted my mistakes infront of the people he wanted me to do so, I gave him answers to all of his questions and for the next 2 years I was good. Not because I wanted to prove to him that I changed,but because I actually focused on working on myself. But this dude didn't let go off my mistakes,he said he did,he said he forgave me and that he was proud of me for actually seeing the work I've done to fix my shit. But when the opportunity was given,he would say some shit about the past version of myself,infront of my mom,my brother,my friends,and anyone he knew that I cared about having in my life. I would put my head down and take his shit,because he was right about what he was sayin,he wasn't lying. But he made me feel like no matter how much I will grow as a person,it won't matter,cause I've fucked up in the past. But the tables have turned now. He fucked up. The person who always preached about "speak the truth even if it hurts", lied. And he lied about fucking his best friends (my brothers) ex, a lie that is also a betrayl. And he kept that secret until the ex girl came clean about what both of them did. When my brother confronted him about it,he didn't deny shit. He had his head low and he was saying that he fucked up. And when I also texted him about it,asking him how the fuck did he have the nerve,to keep talking shit about me,a version of me that's not represnting me anymore,he said he fucked up. That's it. He broke two hearts today. His bestfriends heart,and someone's he said he never stopped loving. Now you tell me: How could he keep making me feel like I ain't worth it,when he is also a human who makes mistakes,shitty ones also. How was he able,to look both me and my brother in the eyes,knowing what he had done and kept it to himself. Honestly i would accept taking his shit If you would came clean about it himself when he fucked my bros ex. It would be sooo much more okay for him to be like "you know what? I did this huge ass mistake and i gotta come clean about it." Rather than him being a little bitch,acting like he is above everyone. What's the matter here? Does his words not count for his case? Speak the truth even if it hurts. Bitch where????? Huh? Bitch did you? How come you're out there,making me feel like crap for something I did YEARS ago,and you're preaching like your shit don't stink. And your excuse is that you're fucked up?? Huh?? Make that make sense.
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I don't know why you have anything to do with him especially after he brought up your past in front of others.
ReplyI guess I felt like I deserved it. But yeah I think that we shouldn't take shit like that from others.
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