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I'm feeling lonely, like friend and love wise.
I have 2 friends in my class that I see at school but we are not actually close like I'd necer tell them secrets or ask them for help. My "best friend" is a girl I know for years which is in my year at my school. I see her 3 times a week when our classes start at the same time abd wie drive to school together (mostly we are not even talking, still love her.) but I wouldn't ask her for any kind of help either.
Often I think "Oh yeah, I should send this to them", take my phone and realise there is no 'them'
At these moments and when I go to sleep alone I feel deeply lonely
I feel that novody would really care if I stopped existing
like sure some people would be like "where have they gone?" but forget about it in no time... I feel useless and irrelevant
It's btw my fault that I don't have friends because for a while I've been keeping people on distance for no reason
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i dont mind not having any friends, i hate talking to people either way. friends will jsut stab u in the back and throw you away when they drained you dry as if...
as someone with AvPD, I relate to this deeply, please know you're not alone.
Replybruh I totally feel this. Especially the last part… blaming yourself because you keep people at a distance for no reason.
Well I think there actually is a reason. Some of us like to keep barriers, even though we still value friendships. There’s a layer we arent comfortable peeling back and revealing to casual friends so we end up pushing them away. If thats the case I dont think you should blame yourself, maybe those people didnt really understand you.
For a while I got by with just online friends because that felt safer. Maybe you can try that. I eventually failed at that too, but it sorta worked for a while.
ReplyI have no clue where to find online friends since I'm not into games or sth like that...
Replyfr I can’t even find online friends either. Are we allowed to share discord or email addresses here?
ReplyI don't know if that's qllowed but it sure is no good idea since this platform is public
ReplyI'm in the same boat. I need to find new friends because the close friends I have do bad things and I need to stay away from all that.
Replyi relate
Replydont take this as your destiny and keep living like this . u can change . u say its your faukt as u keeo people at distance its fine , i am sure u have your reasons but try stopping that for a while . See i am like you , and i feel lonely at night and i cry .. i see ppl with a group of friends going out and i want that but i relaise i dont do anything to get that so i decided i will try to be more going. i am forcing myself to say hi to everyone i see and mayb someday i will have what i crave for .
so right now what i am telling you is fake it , in the sense fake happyness, force yourself to just say hi to ppl , ask them how they are , force youself till u get comfortabel , till your mind accepts that as its reality .
Replyi totally relate to this. i sometimes keep people away from me, reply late to texts, or never agree to hangouts, but then blame myself when i feel lonely. i rarely find "my people" tho, thats why. if i socialize with the people around me i feel really drained and overall exhausted, not comfortable or genuinely happy.
ReplyI currently don't have any words of encouragement to make you feel any better, to get rid of your loneliness. But, I feel the same. Deep inside my heart, I feel lonely, and despite having people around me, it doesn't decrease my loneliness. I have friends by my side, but whenever I'm with them, I couldn't get rid of this loneliness in my heart.
I'm also the type of person who would keep some distance from others around me. But somehow, I feel longing for them. It's pretty contradicting, right?
Anyway, I do hope you could find some place where you can feel belonged and reduce your loneliness.
Reply