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My husband and I have been separated since 2021 and only now able to look into a divorce sometime this year. During our separation, i thought we could consider working on our marriage and be a family again. I have strong beliefs about marriage and this is my first marriage, which i take seriously. I am however his second wife, no kids with his first wife. We have a young child together which we both love very much and we're doing our best to co-parent. I loved this man and did everything to be with this man but I feel robbed,betrayed,lied to and cheated. I have recently found out that while we're not officially divorced yet, that he has met someone within the last year and is now expecting another child by this other woman. Which means, my child will soon be expecting a half sibling, my reaction was mixed and a wave of emotions came over me. I have not met this other woman as of yet and she has already been introduced into my child's life for a couple of months now.
How do I cope with this?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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I am a child product of divorce with a stepmother, and several half-siblings. I can't speak to how you must feel about the collapse of your marriage, but I can say from experience that how you choose to handle things will greatly impact your child for better or worse. For their sake, I hope you are able to get along amiably with the child's father and please, don't ever make them choose sides. As for potential stepmothers, it will be a miracle if she can open her heart to your child because being a step parent is tricky. And new siblings well, half or full, it's always a wonderful thing to have more siblings. I have three younger brothers, 2 are half-brothers, but I love them all just the same.
It will likely be difficult for you at first, and it will be an adjustment for everyone. I'm sorry that you and your husband weren't able to work things out; my parents weren't able to either. However, what I've learned over the years seeing them each happy with their new respective partners, is that my parents are much happier apart then they ever were together. Hopefully, you will find someone again who makes you happy, and who will also love your child.
I don't believe that this is the end for you, I think it's just the beginning. Life is full of ups and downs, but you can get through it. Try to do your best and take some time to care for yourself as you adjust to your new lifestyle; don't be too hard on yourself.
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