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I have never been so surrounded by people willing to help, yet still I never felt so alone. Its my fault! it’s MY fault! it’s my FAULT! Over and over again is repeated in my head because it is my fault, no one will say it but I was distracted I caused harm to not only my friends but to a stranger! Yes we were lucky yes everyone is alive but the mental scars I wear feel much deeper than anything I wear on body. I will never forgive myself and I will never forget that if luck hadn’t been on are side that day my recklessness may have killed someone, someone I love or a stranger. They don’t understand that I can’t forgive myself, I hate me so they should hate me too! They shouldn’t dismiss what I did to make me feel better it won’t work I know how they truly feel because I feel it too. I want nothing to do with myself it would be so freeing to wash away in a concoction of pills I hear it’s painful but painful it what I deserve.
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This will become a thing of the past in time so don't worry too much about it. Get on with your life because time heals.
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