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Have you ever looked back on yourself, and thought.. "I swear this has to be a stranger or something.."
Well don't I have a tale for you. Make yourself comfortable, maybe grab a snack or something. You may find a thing or two here relatable.
So, enter around 2019-very early 2022 era. My attitude was different, me putting a "not emotional, all tough" look on. I looked, and even talked really different. In ways, I even kind of looked a bit gross. Like, really different.
I look back, almost laughing and simultaneously hurling from "who the hell was this-" kind of feels, if you catch my drift.
I have come out, being myself again a while ago. I am emotional, and sensitive. People say I'm a softie, and in touch with my feminine side.. (I feel more feminine than male, just to be honest)
And when people tell me this, I feel this warmth inside me. I feel extremely relieved, happy. Who I truly am, and was since I was just a little kid.
Back then, I had fallen into a pit of confusion. My "friends" cut ties, one in particular ended in an ugly way. Around this time was when it started to happen. I became an awkward as, weird, and absolutely fake persona. It's to me, in the past. Gone. It's never who I truly was, and now, I feel reason to cheer. I kicked it out the door, and embrace who I truly am.
Although, I can't help but to feel this.. Really unusual "grossed out" kind of feeling, to how I pretended I was. It conflicted with my true self, and with the silly invention of cameras, I can gawk at these embarrassing times with free will.
My mother even still has some photos from this era! Although, she isn't a social media mom, so that's one part I'm saved.. 😅
But ever so still.. The "old me" is not even a real person. It's embarrassing to look back at. But, it has served as a (painful, but) useful lesson I'm going to remember my whole life.
Admittedly, as I have said- I still feel great embarrassment about the past. I feel weird, and sad about it. I wish I had known just to be myself, for gosh sakes!
But oh well.. That would be my tale for you. Maybe even share your own experience, and maybe how you manage to deal with such a goofy old situation.
Thank you for stopping by. And have a cookie too. 🍪 <3
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