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I've been working on going abroad to study (post-graduate) for the past 8 months, creating a portfolio, collecting documents, and taking short courses to look like the ideal student because I wanted this chance. I applied to 2 different countries, and for my first priority country I was waitlisted and for others, I got selected. Rather than feeling happy, I was worried, because the expense was not what I initially calculated, even though hearing my parents tell me not to worry and that whatever amount they spend is worth it (on the side my mother is someone who constantly reminds me how much she spends money, but she always tells me as a joke which I feel sometimes is and sometimes it is not). Eavesdropping between my parent's conversations made me have 2nd thoughts, there are a lot of other things they want to do, financially invest on and I feel like I am blocking them, everything makes me guilty. I questioned whether this was worth it and wrote down what advantages I get out of this postgraduate study. I wanted to escape this family circle, I want a space where I can connect with people who have the same interest as me, and I want to be given a chance to interact with people in general, and have the time and space to concentrate only on bettering my skills. I worked for a while as a full time and it made me realize how isolated I am. Is there any way for me to stop thinking like this, questioning my decision or whether the whole thing is not actual, I want to have a different view on my situation
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Don't feel guilty about your parents having other things they want to do besides paying for your education because it is one of the things they want to do otherwise they wouldn't do it would they. Be appreciative to them and think how lucky you are to have parents like this. One day you will escape the family circle and do the things that you want. Your parents want you to be successful so be grateful and don't worry.
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