In love but

Every night i replay my entire life in my head and second guess every decision i've ever made. I've always been like that. But lately when those thoughts come I havent been able to stop thinking about all my past loves. What exactly went wrong, if they were doomed from the start, ect. I always rushed from one bed to another after being dumped and never allowed myself to fully get over anyone, and thats definitely part of why a lot of them failed. And most of the time im happy in my current relationship of 3 years. But sometimes i cant help but think about what other paths i could have taken, and i know thats mostly normal- but like right now i feel horrible because i cant stand the sound of his voice. It makes me want to scream. The same voice i was just loving to listen ramble on yesterday. These feelings keep coming and going in waves and i dont know what to do. I dont wanna tell him because then he'll just be hurt, but not like i can talk to anyone else close to me because he'll just read the messages later. I cant see a future without him but the futures i see with him... Arent were I want to be either.... Im tired of having to mother him constantly. If either of us say anything political it just turns into a fight. If i ask anything about planning out our finances since even tho im the only one working i suck at math and keeping track of bills- it turns into a fight. I dont know how what to do with all these feelings.