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I've been wanting to start writing for a long time now, but never really knew where to start. So maybe I'll just start from the beginning to put it all into perspective. I never really felt like I had a place in this world. Whenever I'd get too comfortable I'd move on to something new and fresh. I thought this was just how I was for the longest time until I decided to change it.
To keep it brief I was an avid gamer who would borderline abuse my ADHD medication so I could stay up later to play, but not suffer in the AM for staying up too late. It would make me grumpy and lazy doing this each and every night without fail. I did this for two years before I decided it wasn't good for me. It was beating on me, my son, my daughter and my wife. My marriage was adequate and my relationship with my kids was subpar. I wasn't taking care of myself, which affected my immediate family. It took some time to realize how much these hits of dopamine late into the night were ruining my very existence. I realized that so many people were like me, and I used that as an excuse for my garbage behavior. So when it came time to change I didn't want to do it all at once because fear had a hold on me for relapsing. I started with sleep.
I gave myself a cut-off at ten pm every night within a fifteen-minute window before or after ten to wrap up whatever I was doing and get off for the night. After that time I would leave my phone across the room and try to get some rest. At first, this was hard and required a few sleep aids. I never used melatonin for some reason, but tea or some nootropic drink of sorts would help a bit. After a few weeks of this something strange started happening. I started feeling a bit better compared to how i felt prior. It's weird calling that strange, but I didn't think the change would be so drastic. I had more energy which started leading to other factors that required more energy.
Since I was going to bed earlier I started getting up earlier. With this extra time I had no clue what to do so I tried to exercise. I'd go for roughly 30-40 minutes each morning around five am and found some random Captain America exercise program ( I know, I know lol) that would keep me on a schedule. The best thing about this routine wasn't just the exercises provided, but the minor details of the diet Chris Evans used while playing Captain America. Since I was already using the routine I decided why not try to eat a bit healthier too. I figured if I could control my sleep and what I did when I woke up why not see what food could do for me. HOLY SHIT was that a game changer. With that shift, I started feeling empowered to find new ways to create energy for myself.
Google become my best friend. It isn't always right, but it'll push you in the right direction a good 85% of the time. I would research what types of food give what types of energy or how to do an exercise properly ETC. Eventually, this led me to informative podcasts on ADHD or trying to learn that next tactic for personal development. I started feeling happy in my own skin, but I was still scared of a relapse back to my old self. These new habits started forming me into a version of myself I didn't want to lose. The most interesting part about this process was really how easy it was to keep a habit after the initial push for it.
Some habits seem so exhausting to keep up with, but given the right perspective on it helps loads. I connected my diet, sleep and exercise habits to my ADHD because it would help ME progress more in life. It was the selling point I was looking for and to this day ten months later it still has me hooked.
Now, I have got to get to work, but I will be making daily entries here talking about the good, bad and ugly that I put myself through to create who I am today. It still isn't easy and I have a long ways to go, but i'd like to share my experiences with those that are having a tough time right now. It can only go up from here.
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