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i think i might have ed. i dont want to self diagnose but i have the symptoms. i tend to binge eating sometimes, then the guilt kicks in. and i found myself throw up the foods after that. its an endless cycle. i stopped throwing up the foods around 3 months and kinda happy with myself. i was starting to accept my weight. but then one of my friends made a remark about my body and thats when i feel horrible all over again. it suck bcs the only thing i care about is my body. i really want to eat without feeeling guilty. i was overweight in my highschool and often get fatshamed. i was 54 kg (some might say its not that heavy but im not that tall either so yea) then lockdown comes in and thats when i start to exercise and work out, and lost around 7 kg. i was happy that time. i finally felt confident after so long getting bodyshamed. everyone being kind to me and complimented me, something that i never felt during highschool. but after few months, i started to eat a lot and gain 5kg (?) and honestly, its making me feel stupid and angry at myself due to lack of self control.. i think that might be the reason on why im so obsessed with losing weight. i dont want to experience the things i went through in highschool again. i just want to lost weight again. people be commenting about my arms and said how big i look and i could be a wrestler??? its honestly triggering me so much god i want to cry.
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I would talk to your GP about a possible eating disorder especially if you have been sick in the past because of it and possibly look into getting a personal trainer if you are looking to tone up more, but only if it is for making yourself feel better and not because of what you think others want. It's great you have gotten past the throwing up stage so be proud of yourself for that. If you feel like binge eating try to also drink some water as your body can mistake hunger for thirst.
Also on a side note...you might want to be careful with the first line of your post as "ed" can also be an acronym for erectile disfunction. Just a heads up.
ReplyI can't be the only one who red that last sentence then looked it up and instantly closed it bc i was surprise?
ReplyI'm going through the same thing, and you can be anything you put your mind to. I know whats its like and i actually want to be a wrestler to and i say fucking go for it!
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