What was my fault?

Hi Akash, It's me..!

I know you are doing great and well-settled in happy married life.

Why did you come back? What brought you to me? aren't you happy in your life as you show your life as pretty good?

you have moved on in life but why am I the only one who was never able to fall in love again and be loved again?

it's been almost 2 years since we separated but why am I still afraid of feeling loved again?

Who will answers all these questions?

I remember when we first interacted with each other with no intentions of anything. we started chatting all day and night, and you made me feel special and loved that I forgot the world around me I involved all of myself in you that I couldn't see that all this if timepass for you till you get married.

we were doing great but we last time met why I felt this is our last meeting before you told me that you want to break up with me.

Why I already had that feeling and fear of losing you forever?

You actually never cared about me right but why did you always pretend like you care so much for me?

You ghosted me all of a sudden without any reason and after 2 years of break up and with your marriage, you jumped into my life and said you always loved me and you still love me.

like seriously?

I am the only one who is afraid of getting close to anyone and you know what's the worst part I don't want to feel loved again. I am not able to allow someone to love me again.

I don't know what to do I feel so alone, empty

I always loved you in the hope that one day you will feel that my love for is pure and no one can take your place and I know you already knew that I have respect, value, and importance for you in my life.

Was it my fault that I was not able to feel loved even when I was with you or i am not able to move in life?

will it be forever with me this feeling and fear?

I don't have any friends to share all this that's what brought me here!