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i feel lonely. i read a post on reddit today that said having social anxiety and being introverted is a deathly combo. i agree. nowhere to go. no one to lean on. wanting change but feeling incapable of it.
im desperate for understanding and connection. i dont want to be. i dont want to make rash and impulsive decisions in an attempt to alleviate my loneliness. bc its only temporary. an exhausting, to say the least. all cost and no benefit.
and i think in the end. where i fall short in trying to fix things that cant be so easily fixed just leaves me feeling pathetic and hopeless.
it doesnt take very long to realize that all routes lead to dead ends. when that happens, my mind craves purging. so i vent. where? on the internet, ofc. into a meaningless void of nothing.
where all our secrets go to live forever but are never truly seen. where we like to say "we're in this together" but in reality, we're just ppl, hoping that faking our closeness might actually make us start believing that we're not all just idiots, pretending to hold hands behind our stupid little screens and praying to god that the next day wont be like the last.
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A link between suicide and phones and social media has been discovered so it will be best for you to only use your phone for calls and to stay off social media. If you are lonely you should keep yourself busy with hobbies and doing things you like. Don't dwell on it.
ReplyWe are the most connected technologically but also the most disconnected. The Internet does serve as a coping mechanism because it provides us with easy dopamine hits. It's great as a compliment to physical interactions but most have made it their primary.
For some it's the only form of interaction and that generally isn't sustainable to well-being.
I know having social anxiety and being introverted doesn't help your situation. But your heart desires that connection with others. It's going to be difficult but you should keep working at overcoming your social anxiety. You don't feel that you are worthy but I know that you are.
You have gifts to show and give to the world. Past this pain point are people that are waiting for your company. Move slow or fast. Just move forward with courage. I know you'll find your group someday 🙂
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