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It's like I need to find the sweet spot in my life. Of all the times I've convinced myself to be, to hold on, to keep going, to let go, etc., I'm still trying to find the missing part. What is that I seek so desperately? You'll find me stuck at times and the only way to move on is with effort and tough love. I believe in love, there's just something so poetic about it. It seems when I was brought into this world I cried but I had no motive, like the world would make me feel bad even if I was simply being. That's why we need to be aware because otherwise the world throws stuff at us and it makes us cry. It's getting next to impossible to find the balance, it's hard to even grasp the concept of balance. There's no one single moment I can step up and live comfortably with myself ever after, it's on and on in which I need to find myself only to lose it time and time again. When will I be happy with myself? Was this what people meant with life has to have a little bit of everything? If I could, I would only choose the good. Or to choose when to choose. I just wonder why do bad things happen to us? Of course we die and it gets forgotten, it lives only in our memory, and that's why we remember history, but when we all die wouldn't that defeat the purpose? If you had one choice, and that choice would be to do it all over again, would you say yes? Maybe, it doesn't mean that every bad thing that happened will happen again, because we would have changed it by then. Then let me ask you this question, is everything eternal? Does it have an end? Or is it just the way it is, and therefore we shouldn't question it? I just can't find any sense or answer to it other than time will tell, what's time? Is time the answer? Time is a construct, a metric. Is time the most mundane answer and at the same time the most fitting answer? I ended up completely derailing to the point of the post, but it's all connecting together somehow. Please someone tell me.
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