My Unsent Letter

Hey, lost friend,

You look completely fine without me. How do you do it? How do you do it when it is breaking me? The bond was ours, not just mines. Then how is it that I am the only one hurt? We loved each other platonically but we were soulmates. We understood each other to a level nobody else ever could. You were the truest friend I ever had. You were my safe zone. I supported you. You pushed me away, I didn't leave. You were rude at times because you wanted to hide your pain, but I saw right through it. I felt you and you felt me to. It was intimate but not physically. I stayed up nights for you, something I didn't do for someone else. You were important and I loved you. I still do.

In your eyes I made a mistake. Maybe I wasn't a good friend to her at the moment but I was to you. I never went against you or even wished bad for you. She was dear to me as well. I made up for it. You had no right to tell her about it. You knew, I wanted to come clean myself, you knew I felt guilty. But you decided to choose between us. You chose her, because in your opinion she was your friend for a long time. I get it. She was your friend, wasn't I? Didn't I love you? I made a mistake and instead of supporting me to do the right thing, you made it worse knowingly. And when I asked you about it, you lied to me, blamed it on me. It was the worst week of my life and you knew it. I was low and I did things that many people wouldn't approve of. I needed support. I needed someone to be there for me like I was always there for everyone who wanted me to. But no, everyone was busy judging. The worst part is, you still don't see your mistake still.

Let me explain. You don't choose between two of your closest friends as if it is a competition, you be a good friend to both. You don't rat your friend out when she clearly asked you not to do that. You don't blame her and call her "backstabber" when she did nothing but wish you well and stick with you. You don't LIE.

I hurt her without not meaning to but now I have worked for it, made amends for it and we're good. What about you and me? I never ever hurt you. I was the perfect version of myself for you. Why couldn't you just see me as a normal person in their low, instead of the 'traitor' you painted me to her. So I had to let you go from my life. I could never trust you again, could I? How can I forgive your mistakes when you couldn't forget a small one for mine?

I loved you and I still love you. You walk past me and all I feel is that pang deep inside my heart, shattering me bit by bit. Do you even care?

Yours,

Broken Friend.