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You were in my dream.
I was working at a small outdoor environmental event in a holler. I was wearing my hiking boots, field shorts, pigtails, a grey company Tshirt. My legs were dirty from the day's work and I was running frantically throughout the event grounds searching for an answer for something that my boss had requested. I was prepared to be all business but then you caught my eye.
I saw your truck first: A company vehicle, as it seems you were working the same event. You were pulling out of a pole barn driveway. It was a silver two door Chevy with a cab and roof racks. No company logo on the side but it was too clean and professional to be a personal vehicle. Your window was down and that's how I caught sight of you driving as I ran. You accidentally cut off my path as you pulled out and in an apology, you waved.
Because I've grown up, I didn't become excited like I typically would, even though my dream heart was beating and fluttering a million miles a second. Your red hair and sunglasses were recognizable to me no matter where in my dream worlds you may be. You noticed it was me and happily waved a second time, this time in personal happiness as well. I smiled brightly and looked down at my legs, embarrassed at how dirty I was but also relieved that you caught me at work.
Your truck disappeared momentarily as I continued sprinting in search of answers. I tried to forget that I had seen you, mostly to avoid the embarrassment of rejection but the happiness I felt from catching your sight fueled my high.
I had stopped at another driveway to catch my breath and was sitting on the edge of a stone wall when you appeared. This was the first time in any dream where you acknowledged me and then made contact. Usually, we pass by each other without incident but today was different.
You approached me and I could feel my face light up as you walked over. You had the same youthful aura that you always do. That aura is what I love most about you and it always comes through in my dreams, no matter how serious you try to be in life. You came up and complimented me on the fancy way I was sitting. You asked to sit next to me. You were wearing the same sunglasses, the same shaggy red hair. A maroon company polo shirt. Khaki field shorts. Work boots. As you settled into place, I noticed some tattoos on your pale inner thigh. I asked you about them, surprised you'd ever consider getting them since you had always been conservative. As you explained your choice, I studied the face I'd grown to love so much. You hadn't changed at all.
After a minute of talking, you became more sultry. I was still sitting on the stone wall when you slid close and straddled me from behind. Your body pressed against mine, I felt happily surprised that you were so forward. Each time I tried to speak, my words would fade into soft, feminine breathy moans as you distracted me with neck kisses and fingertip touches along my stomach.
In real life, I want this more than anything but in my dream, it was pure heaven. I remember feeling like I was floating. I remember wondering what brought your seduction on. Why, all of a sudden, was I attractive to you. But whatever it had been, I closed my eyes and gave in.
Of all the people I've been with throughout my time, you've stuck the most. Your smell, your mind, your eyes, your gentle nature, the way you kiss, your positivity, your authority, the way you love nature, your independence, your integrity, the thought of meeting your family one day. But I know these dreams are simply that--fantasies. I am no more significant to you than a fly on a window sill: Annoying and unable to ignore once you've heard it and all you want to do is smash it to make it stop. The sad thing is is that all the fly wants is freedom but to others, its desire is a nuisance. For the fly, there is no freedom. It's locked in to the choice its made and now it's a problem that must be eliminated to keep things peaceful and quiet.
Whenever I dream of you, it's always in color. It's always fluid and movie like. It's the closest that I can ever be to real life. The dream always goes on for so long, with real emotions and faces and details. These are always the clearest dreams I have. I can see every stand of hair, every light source. I can feel textures. I can feel the ambience of the situation. The dreams are never the same. They're at different times of the day and at different seasons. We're always wearing different clothes. We're in different places. But we're always there together. Sometimes, it's the creek. Sometimes, New Orleans. Sometimes, at work. But no matter where we are, it's my favorite place because you're with me. We always acknowledge each other but rarely speak. We're just there, aware of each other in the fullest and most vibrant colors combined with the fullest emotion. This is the closest I will ever be to you.
Thank you for your visits. You always find me in my dreams and maybe one day, we'll find each other in real life.
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