My Unsent Letter (She and others just like her broke my heart and destory me)

Disclaimer: is either hate or regetting. Just venting, confession about past, need to move on, and being honest.

I am crossroads in life. There three path to take. One is just live. Two go into the darkness and be ev*l or Three is just deleted myself.

Tonite. I have until now to next birthday to choose the path.

First confession. I could be romantic relationship. But, I can not date or show interest in Latinas and White women.

The first was my mother. Although, she getting into elderly age and confessing her past mistakes. I've not fully forgiven her completely. She marry an evil man and cost my life a living hell for 20 years. In addition, my ex-stepfather force me and groom me like Latinas and White women for his personal sick pleasure. My mother stop being feminine and caring after my ex-stepfathet cheated on her. Then, became mentally unstable when ex-stepfather started physically and mentally abused her. That lead fear and negative view that all Latinas are like my mother.

Second confession: I used like white women before they took advantage of me. To be honest. From elementary to high school i had positive energy to attract white women. in addition, there good tv show about white women being themselves in life. For example: Kim possible and Sabrina the teenage witch. That postive outlook for awhile. But, that all change in college, rise of social media and the real world. i was living false assumptions that all white women are nice.

Fourth confession: Not all Latinas and White women are bad. Unfortunately, ended up disappointed, cheated on, and heartbroken. My past dates and toxics exes hurts me so bad. I get confused nice as manipulated tool or faking it. I've Rejected, showed hostility,passed off, dont care and overlooked towards Latinas and White women. Because how they treated me. i am forcing myself and see tbe good side of them.

Last confession: Either I've given up, lost hope, don't care or too late go back.

Every time i tried to back or open up to Latinas or white women. Either they single mother or pregant mother with toxic past and only used me financial support, or cheater, or played my emotions. Soical media and settings high social.standards in modern times. To lead me unhealthy thoughts and feeling worthless.