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back again, emotionally dumping into the void again. SHOCKER right hahahahhahhah. yesterday night was reminded how im clearly different than my roommate and neighbor. i said that he didnt mean personally but idk how else you could mean "well you are not like her and I so you need to be more like that" like huh????? could you have phrased that better dude. idk. idk why i try. idek why i even talked to him. its a waste of my time. i wasnt expecting him to solve my damn problems, he came to me 1st talking about how he feels unfufilled but then he just turned into a pseudo therapy session where he asked me questions and gave me "one liner" like quips to my responses. like it was a disney movie or some shit or that he will say this one profound thing that will break through my OVER TEN YEARS OF DEPRESSION and i would be suddenly and immediately cured and fixed. then i told him please dont compare me to our friend, we are all different but that also doesnt mean your advice would be any less helpful (he has this mindset that when people live or do things differently than he does he just cant relate to them in the fucking slightest, like bro can we develop an ounce of empathy) anyways then he asked me why id didnt want to be compared and i pretty much just dumped my whole depression self hating brain on him. he has not responded since :) im not surprised or dissapointed he hasnt. i just really wish he didnt compare me. i wish the vent sesh stayed more light hearted. he not self aware enough nor does he have enough empathy for us to be able to talk ig. or maybe its just me, im just the problem and im the problem and blah blah blah. anyways. im debating whether to leave work before sending this email. its not urgent but meh last time i didnt communicate like i knew i should have at work, shit hit the fan and i was absolutely miserable sooooooo. imma just sit here till i do it and thatll be the only thing I finish today womp womp
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