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Well I'm a Muslim, so I'm confused about something. I love this guy and he's also Muslim but my parent's don't allow dating but we can, right? But I also have this friend who's a guy and dating a christian girl..? That's not right, right? shouldn't that be haram?
I'm old enough to date but my parents don't want me too, and don't allow anyone else in my family. so what do i do? And they're super strict about it. Plus, I've loved this guy for years and my parents don't know about him, but I'm not dating him...yet. I'm seriously in love I can't even explain it, and he'd never leave me and I'd bet on it.
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You sound like an adult. At least, 21 years old. If that is right, why are your parents making choices for you? At some point you will have to decide what is the next best thing for you to do. However, your parents may be angry and may withhold what they are providing. Your choices do not dictate what others will do.
Replyhow did you guess I was 21??! anyways, yes you're absolutely right. I don't want them to, but my parents believe I should be married at a young age, and for me right now, I'm thinking about 27-30 to get married, on the other hand my parents want me to be married at 22-23. Which I definitely do not agree on. I want to be independent, but they've pushed me to stay in. It's definitely hard in my house. I'll be the first to say no to my parents about these things tho I'm the youngest. But thank you very much!
ReplyFellow Muslim girlie here!! Sounds like you've known this guy for a while and have loved him for a long time!! I think the whole "dating" thing can be a little tricky, but here's some advice from someone who's done it twice (and once with a christian dude): 1) would never do again because i realized (in my situations) love is fleeting and it's usually the lust or just wanting some sort of companionship in your life. 2) islamically, i don't think it's outright haraam as long as you're not doing certain things. totally cool tho if this is not your concern, but just wanted to provide some input!! 3) 20s is a such an important time for you to establish yourself and your independence and find who you want to be and what you want to do in this world. this can be hard sometimes with someone else's whole life to also consider. 4) i say all this, but totally recognize that i still got the "experience". i learned a lot from these relationships, but sometimes i think i wouldve turned out just fine if i connected with Islam stronger (by putting more effort and time).
you should do what you think will benefit you the best, don't worry about your parents. no matter what you choose, i hope it turns out the best for you <3
Replyhonestly thank you so much!!
I get what you're saying about the situations with love that can be fleeting or lustful, just wanting a companionship. I'm not doing anything with him, maybe a bit affectionate with my words. I haven't really touched him, maybe like a hug I think I've done tops. As for me who is 21, my parents are strict about things, I'm still in college, they prefer me to be with a man than be in college. I still want to do so much with my future. I'm not ready to marry anyone. The guy I've talked to totally gets it, he's so patient with things and we've planned things out. They want me to leave college and get married, which I can't. And my dad says arranged, but my mom says it's fine if I find someone else but she's leaning toward arranged because my dad and my mom were arranged, but it worked out for them, it's this culture/tradition I don't really wanna follow. Yes, I wish I was closer to Islam. I want to read the Qur'an all over again. It feels I'm distant from Islam and my God. When I used to read the Qur'an it was so peaceful. I pray, but not all the time, which I feel a bit guilty about, there's no excuse for this, so I will start to get in the habit of it.
Thank you very much!! I hope it does!
I hope everything is going well with you!
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