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Shall I continue on the merry-go-round of my unfruitful life?
10 months ago · 2 · Irresponsible, +13
232
My twenty-four years of life has been a disaster. Without getting into details, I talked off the wall and then some last year and was admitted into a mental institution for about a week, my morally absent behavior, treating people like trash, brought shame to those associated with me. And then to try to cover up what I have done, I attempted to pretend I was my old self, if not more regressed from then, ignoring everything that has happened. I would pick up old goals, like composing music and learning a language, I dropped in the past and just say, "Yeah, I'll stick with it this time." But it's been a year later since I've tried to "change" and I've resorted back to living with my parents, no job, and living on video streamings and how-to articles without bringing real change. And living with the pain of the relationships I've damaged from all this won't go away. I've been working on this with a therapist but I need a second opinion.
So, will I continue to live in this cycle of fits and starts that lead nowhere? Or do I just give up trying to start fresh and just give in to what I should do? Am I irredeemable?
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Yes you are absolutely redeemable. You needn't pretend if you have real issues so they can actually help you. Big progress takes time. Take baby steps. Day by day. Any progress is progress. I believe you can totally turn your life around. I'm rooting for you, keep going :)
ReplyThank you so much. You're right — big progress takes time. I forget this because of perfectionistic tendencies, which in some ways holds me back from starting.
I think I'm misunderstanding what you mean by "they can actually help you." Are you talking about people who know about my real issues, that the issues can help me, or something else? You're definitely right that I shouldn't pretend. Want to break down these walls of dishonesty and maneuver strength against my weaknesses instead of squashing them with strengths I feel like I lack. But how to do it consistently is the day by day battle.
Thank you again for believing in me. Will keep the hope in redemption and keep going.
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