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Dear depression,
You have been apart of me for the better half of 6 years now. I am not sure when I met you or when you become a prominent part of me. Ever since you entered into my life, I’ve changed. Not all for the worse, however, actually mainly for the better. At first you were just a small and innocent feeling. Something I could easily ignore and forget about. Over the years you turned into this massive parasite that I could no longer ignore. You grew the more I shrunk. You were a leach that sucked the joy out of my life. Even though I hated you, apart of me started to like you. I started to be content with having you around. The way you made me feel almost made me feel better. You allowed me to rationalize my life. You gave me an escape when I desperately needed one. It’s weird to think that my depression comforted me but you did. You were there for me like a friend is there for someone. Yeah you may have been toxic and slowly killing me but I was so comfortable with you that I didn’t notice. Apart of me almost liked the feeling you gave me. You made me feel okay with feeling sad. You always told me, it’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to not like your life, it’s okay to feel unmotivated. You gave me an out. But you broke me down so much till I was almost nothing. Even though you broke me down, you gave me an opportunity to be built back up. That’s where I’m at right now. You may have had me in chains for the past few years but not anymore. I met someone knew. His name is Jesus. He loves me in the way you never can. His love builds me up, and will never tear me down. You will always be apart of my life, but my new friend Jesus is here to change you. It’s time for us to grow together. Before, only one of us prospered but only at the expense of the other. Now, with our new friend, we can both grow together. Don’t be worried though, it’s a good thing. You will be changed into the lighter version of yourself. You will no longer be my leach. I will no longer look at you like the massive parasite you once were. You will now be this beautiful piece of me. A part of me will miss the old you though and I’m sure the old version of you will always show up from time to time. But that’s where Jesus comes in. When the old toxic version of you comes back, Jesus steps in and turns you back. No longer will your darkness overshadow me. It’s time for the sun to come out. So here’s my goodbye to you. I forgive what you did to me, I just won’t forget.
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You are always one change away from a different life and I think you are making the right decision to allow God into your life. It's a tough road especially in today's world but it is well worth it. Stay the course and best of luck in your endeavors!
ReplyTHIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL WOW
ReplyThank you! It really means a lot.
Reply