My Timed Entry

I think often about not having a best friend. Growing up, everyone always had that one person or that small group of people that would always show up to their houses at 12am for their birthdays, or showing up to their houses unannoucned, or just know them inside out better than they knew themselves. I grew up wondering what was wrong with me and why I just could never have one. I got close to people over time and would even call them my "best friend" but they never saw me as one. In turn, i ended up giving my whole entire self to people that did not value it, or took advantage of me/ made fun of me instead. It traumatized me quote a bit from making close friends and eventually it did help me mature as well and realize the truth about people. I was someone that was known for having a "lot of friends" growing up as i was socially involved in the community and events, but i didnt really have one person that truly knew me inside out, and still do not to this day. ALthough, i do have a few close girls that know me pretty well, almost as much as I konw my self, we dont talk everyday but they know how i am, and can help gudie me in the direction that would likely lead to a good decision for myse.f at the end of the day. I guess, we're not best friends but as close as close friends can be. I've sort of accepted my fate at this point, but thank god I have met girls that I can go to when i need to talk to someone and due to that, for the moost part, i dont feel the lack of not having a best friend. WHo knows, maybe one day I',, find one. My other friend told me she thinks my future partner will be mt best friend... i hope so too.