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i think the real reason i'm scared to love
is because how could someone possibly fall in love with me?
with all of my damaged flaws,
surely there's better options out there
i mean, I've been getting pretty comfortable with the idea of being alone
but there's always been this tiny part in me that craves someone
someone that truly knows me deep down and will comfort me
I've never gotten to experience that
but i look over at everyone around me and they seem to have it all figured out
i'm not usually the type of person to make the first move,
especially with someone that's caught my eye for a while now
i'm scared of commitment and rejection because that's definitely a possibility for me right now
i'm so jealous of people that can just pour out their feelings onto someone,
I've never really been good at doing that
i tend to sort of hold everything inside
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Hey, I totally understand you. It's okay, it's absolutely alright. Nobody is perfect. Even those people whose life seems to have everything and they seem to have figured everything out, are not perfect. They're just good at hiding it.
And it's alright to want someone to be by your side. There is a difference between being independent and being alone. You don't have to rely on someone, but you might want some company, otherwise, it gets lonely.
Everybody has flaws and so do you. You have communication issues from what I understand. You cannot express your feelings as easily as others. Sometimes we might want to stay in our comfort zone but that gets us nowhere. You mentioned that someone has caught your eye and that person is not going to know that if you don't them. Someone has to make the first move, so why not be it you? If you don't try to make it happen, it won't happen, right?
ReplyI think you should give yourself a break. It's not easy tearing your walls down for people. People suck. But if you're going to get anything you want out of life you're going to have to do some soul searching. Really. I have a hard time trusting people and so I get where you're coming from not wanting anyone to come in and destroy it. Sometimes, you have to go for it though, even if it hurts. Not everyone out here is bad. A lot people have their priorities all out of Wack so it's going to be hard finding that needle in a haystack. But also let it come to you, if there's a person they will appear and you'll know. And it won't be so hard to let them in. Just be patient with yourself and give yourself time to be able to do that. It's okay.
Reply