To the Person I am Currently Attached to

It's been 3 days since your last message and I do not understand as to why up until now, I am not hearing from you. I must admit my last message was a lot to digest, but do know it's all because I want things to work out between us. I had no issues with how busy you were. My only point was I wanted to meet halfway that's why I was so interested in knowing your schedule so I can adjust to the time frame where you're free. We have talked about this several times and I still got no response which is why I kept bringing it up.

We are not yet official but both committed to each other. Although, we are in a long-distance set-up hence the more reason for me to bring that up. You see, communication is one of the most relevant foundation in relationships especially when its distant. Without proper communication of availability it makes it even harder to deal with. Do you know that one could actually lose their mind thinking about whatever happened to you or where you're at or are you doing just fine. I did not ask to be updated every hour of everyday. All I wanted was a heads up if you were going to get busy in a couple of days. What's unfair to me is you'll communicate that you have been busy only after 2-3 days. Its an emotional torture on my end.

In this phase of my life, I am no longer one to give myself major emotional turmoils as I have had enough. In that process that I have been through, I have always blamed myself only to realize after a long time that I didn't always have to. I only rekindled that empowerment towards myself very recently, and I can't afford to lose myself in the process again. I truly care for you and I do love you, but I love myself too. However, I cannot allow myself to undergo sleepless nights with very minimal reason to do so, or suffer uncomfortable pain that can even be resolved in a minute.

At the moment I am also mindful of my time. I no longer want to invest on things that are fleeting, and I try to always look at the brighter perspective wherein there is more to what I can do than just mope around and stay as sad sack, because life is too short to be just one. And now there's this sting in my heart because I have come to really like you and envisioned you as part of my future. And I just had to let it all out in here that I am truly sad and affected, and I have no one else to tell this about. It's your birthday tomorrow and even when we don't communicate at the moment, I plan to surprise you with a simple gesture. It might be the last time just to show how I appreciate you making me feel really special.