Is it too much that certain times i feel like i want to disappear

All my friendships have gone wrong, i feel like my relationship with my family especially with my mom is not going too well, i have mini anxiety attacks when i talk to people in public that i always feel like i'm embarrasing towards them, i can't get proper sleep during the whole day, i'm insecure about every single thing i do, i used to go to the gym but now i don't because the gym trainer called me lazy and now i feel like i can't even wash my face, my body or just simply take care of myself. I just want to disappear and go somewhere where no people are around. Is it an overreaction? When i used to tell my mom about my problems, all she said was: "It'll pass" "You're such a pretty girl, why are you insecure" "You don't need to be sad about that, it's too simple to be a problem" but none of her words really helped me so i don't talk to her that much anymore. I'm almost 19, i probably will go to a university soon, i'm just really...scared? I don't know what's coming for me, that's basically what i feel about it. I tried visiting psychologists but none of them worked for me, i guess it was because i didn't trust them that much. I feel like i'm a dot who just tries to become a line like everyone else but stays completely the same, i don't know if you understand that. My life is so messed up lol.