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I have a very complicated friendship that i don't know is worth saving or not. A little back story, we were best friends all of freshman year of high school and half of sophomore year until she completely shattered my life. She insisted that i copied everything she did and said, and even made a bet with my friends over it. One day my mom was at the store and i asked her to grab me black hair dye, last second i changed my mind and asked for purple. One reason being purple was and still is my favorite color, and the second reason being is i can never keep the same hair color for a long period of time. So i dyed my hair purple (which barely showed through because i had black hair already) and i posted it to my private snapchat story with my friends. My "complicated friend" then texted me asking me if i wanted her social security number and all this other crazy shit. She just went on and on about how i copy her and do things she talks about doing which was just completely false. Then she told me she made a bet with my friends to see if i would dye my hair purple because she claims she wanted to do the same. Which was also false because she died her hair pink like she had been talking about for months. I couldn't believe what she was saying and how ridiculous it sounded because i seriously had no clue what she was talking about.
Basically for the rest of the day we were fighting, she told me she wanted me dead, she never liked me and she only felt bad for me. She also told me i was gross, greasy, grimy and all these other things. Then she asked me "don't you ever notice us laughing and whispering at you in history class? it's because your hair." Basically she turned the entire fight into how gross my hair was and how irrelevent i was and people only liked me because i was friends with her, and i believed it. After this whole thing she basically turned all of my friends against me and everyone stopped talking to me. Then instead of deleting our posts on social media together, she tagged mean and gross things on my body and face for everyone and anyone to see. I never wanted to see her or speak to her again after that. I skipped so much school after that and didn't talk to anyone, i was severely depressed, and she didnt even care that she was the one who caused it. Instead she made all of her friends and family text me also telling me that i tried to be her and how i was so gross and that i was the reason this all happened and im the only one thats making it worse. At that point i was just full of rage and i never wanted to even hear about her again.
Then a year goes by and i get a text from her. She apologizes and tells me how sorry she was and she didnt know why she did it, and how i didnt deserve any of it. Then told me she missed me and talked about how we had the best friendship and nothing could break us apart. And im just sitting there like uhhhh... you broke us apart for no fucking reason and now you want to be friends again? yeah no thanks all set. So i basically told her that i didnt want to be friends because of how much pain she caused me and how i was always and only a good friend to her, and how she just basically made my life a living hell for no reason. Then, sometime later on in the year i texted her back and told her that i decided i would be friends with her again. But then i backed out again lmfao. But then i told her i would again. (I really couldnt make up my mind). After that she told me how happy she was and how much she has changed, how much shes missed me, and again how sorry she was for what she did to me. Soon after that we hung out once and just talked, it was fine but we didnt hang out again after that until the middler-end of senior year. And that was when we became best friends again.
It's been a year since then and we are still best friends, rarely with any problems, just little arguments like all friends have. But recently it's been different. She turned her locations off for me and will leave me on open or not answer me on snapchat. I asked her if she was mad at me and she said no and that she just turned her location off for everyone, but idk if i believe that. Then i saw her while i was at work and she told me she wouldnt be seeing me or our other friend all weekend because she has plans with her roomate for college next semester. I was ok with that until i saw her story. She completely lied to me and in fact was hanging out with our other friend and was legit posting it all over her story, knowing damn well im gonna see it. Then she has the NERVE to leave ME on open for like 15 hours like i was the one who did something wrong. So i just kindly returned the favor and stopped talking to her. I ignored her snapchats and turned off my location and left her on delivered for a day. She even double snapped me so i was genuinely laughing ab that. Then she texted me asking me if i was mad at her because i havent been talking to her at all and if i do snap her its pictures of nothing instead of my face. I was just like hahaha oh how the tables have turned. Of course i told her no tho because she wouldve flipped out and turned it on me if i told her how i really felt. But it's just so frustrating. Also another thing, I dont have my license because i tore my acl and just havent gotten it, so she drives. And our other friend lives in the next town over from us so when we go to her house obviously she drives us there. But, lately shes been going there without me then texts me after she gets there and has been drinking asking me when im coming.. and im like dude im 2 mins away from u why wouldnt u get me on the way, and shell just be like im alr here and im not coming back so can u find a ride here, knowing damn well i cant.
One more thing that gets me so mad is how shes been posting all over her story with our other friend, like not even kidding its been every day, on snapchat, instagram and vsco. AND SHE NEVER DOES THAT EVER. So i just feel like thats a shot at me because neither of them have been asking me to hangout. I just feel like im being left in the dark and idk what to do.
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Don't be friends with her anymore. She wasn't worth your time before and she isn't now. Your friends are supposed to make your life better, not worse. She obviously has something wrong with her and it's not your job to deal with it. I've dealt with a friend like that before. We were besties since 1st grade until highscool when she decided she was too good for me. Life is better without the stress and uncertainty. Just drop her. You don't have to be nice about it either. If she tries to make you feel bad just don't even give it a second thought. Be secure in your decision. Put yourself first.
ReplyCut them both off and leave that crap in the past. You don’t deserve to be put through all that. It’s time you let go of the memory of how y’all used to be and accept the reality that she isn’t good for you. There will be other better friends you make in life, there always is. You just got to look for them.
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