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I'm afraid that you won't be loved in the real way for a long while to come. I don't know when that time will come, but you'll look a little older than me. You'll be cheated on, lied to, trusted, fooled and hated; all with the impression you are loved. Of course, just before most of that happens, but mostly all of it will happen when you have no clue. But of course, the clues will really be there, you will just censor them so that the child in you will feel that love it hasn't seen in so long. That love it desires, what it needs, is not a love that someone else can give you. No one has that kind of love to give someone else. None except yourself. Loving something doesn't mean you have like it. You need to respect it, nurture it, and above all, preserve it. No one will agree with your morals, because everyone's opinions cannot be changed. Never. But you don't need to make anyone else improve theirself, because it's not your responsibility. If it bothered you enough, you would say so in the moment. But otherwise, it's not worth it. Otherwise, you're pushing your ideals onto other people. They don't want that, in the same way that you wouldn't like it if someone told you that you are living your life wrong. What makes your ideal more correct than theirs? Or vice versa? Food for thought. Romance is enjoyable, but you need more perfection than what your current standards are in order to have a net gain. Your wounds will only grow deeper, and your scars larger. You'll have to learn to feel your stronger emotions, hopefully. I think that you will. You just need more practice. The feelings are there, you'll just take some time to learn how to potray them. Probably anyway. That's how far I've gotten with it. There's never a stupid question. Except a question that answers itself. So ask yourself the question, then let it out. If something doesn't feel right, stop what you're doing. Even if you're lost in the moment. Your gut is there for a reason. Listen to them. Last note: having more friends will spread you thin; I'm afraid you'll need to pick and choose. They won't take it personally if you really were friends in the first place. If anything kicks up, you would have needed to sell too much of yourself in that emotional transaction. When deciding, don't weigh conventionally: them being in a relationship with you shouldn't be a conversation ender. The one that will hurt the most to lose is the one you keep. You'll be happier in the end. I love you. That will be the truest "I love you" you'll ever hear, but don't let it scare you. It being said is the first step toward experiencing real love. A healthy love. Now that you know these, you're more ready, despite what you might already think, you terrific know-it-all. Be humble, be respectful, become loved.
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Replythank you for replying and increasing my letter's reach :)
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