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what scares me the most is the fact that people want to be close to me. or that i want to be close to them. keep everyone at arm's length, that's how i learned to stay resilient. never let anyone too close, the door is unlocked but that doesn't mean anyone is welcome. sometimes it makes me feel like a dog, a feral, rabid dog. it bites and snarls and growls but that's because that's all it ever learned to me. maybe i could've been something different, loyal maybe. a pet that sits at the side of the doorframe waiting to be let in by an owner. maybe one that doesn't tuck tail and run the moment a dogfight happens. maybe one that knows how to handle a fight when its backed up in a corner. maybe one that knows the difference between animosity and humanity, because these days they're starting to bleed into each other like fresh blood on cold water, branching off like fast fungi.
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