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okay, I have some doubts that I would like someone to talk to me about, if they know something about them that will help me. I am very unhappy, and it affects all aspects of my life. I can't be happy anymore for anything. i feel empty I always see negative things in everything. I don't know how to get out of that constant state of negativity. no matter what I do and finish, I don't feel happy, but only feel that something was finished that was supposed to, it doesn't feel like a task anymore. I'm very sad, I don't see the meaning in life anymore. and even sadder is the fact that what keeps me going in life is the fact that I can't imagine what kind of pain I would cause to my loved ones if I ended it all. I have a girlfriend that I constantly push away from me. in everything she does, I see negative things, I keep blaming her, I get angry all the time. I'm right about some things, but there are too many situations where I see that I'm wrong, that I'm doing something stupid just because I'm unhappy, I hate my life. she is not responsible for making my life better. that's my problem. and I persistently want to drive her away from me, I tell her that I'm not good for her, but she still sees something in me and wants me to work on myself, so that our relationship will succeed. but I'm just unhappy, and I don't feel like working on anything, nothing excites me anymore. and I don't know what to do with myself and my life.
I keep thinking how she will cheat on me, how she will like someone else. And so I push her away from me, constantly. And I know it's wrong, and it shouldn't look like that, but something doesn't give me peace in those situations. And the worst thing is that in this way I will only make her do something, and then I will complain that I was right. And I didn't, because if I had behaved normally, tried my best to make the relationship nice, she would have been satisfied and maybe she wouldn't have even looked at someone else. How can I start working on myself, what can I do to feel better. It is important not only now, but for the rest of my life.
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This sounds really difficult, thank you for sharing your story. Feelings themselves are hard to change, and should be addressed for sure. The things we DO can be chosen though, so maybe let's start there. What is one good thing you can do today? Just one small thing to move your life in the upward direction. If you need ideas, happy to brainstorm with you!
Replythank you for your reply. I mean, i dont know what can i do for myself to be better. Because i dont see the point in anything. I should probably train, dedicate my time for that. Even though i dont see the point in that. Also, i am very unhappy with my job. And i need to change it. but the problem thing is to first find different job, and second thing is the paycheck, it wouldnt be sufficient. but if you have a certain pattern that i can use, with habbits and things that i should do, please tell me, i will appreciate it very much.
ReplyThe best pattern I have is to take things one small step at a time. You realize things as they are aren't working, and that's a good first step. You talked about finding a new job, that sounds like a good next step. Each good thing you do for yourself will build on the last one, just like stairs or bricks. What's your current job and what are you looking to change to?
One suggestion I have is to text, call, or talk to her in person, and tell her simply, "thank you for sticking with me. Thank you for being there for me in all of this."
Thankfulness/gratefulness/gratitude is one avenue to help with negativity.
Here's an example- I can't stand doing dishes. But I am thankful for the people that eat with me, I am thankful for having food to eat. It puts things in a new perspective, takes the weight off how I feel and focuses on greater things if that makes sense
ReplyHey there,
I understand that life hasn't been easy for you lately, and it's natural to feel down and critical of yourself and your family. But let me remind you of something crucial: you have the power to change your perspective and take control of your happiness.
Life is full of challenges, and we all make mistakes along the way. However, it's important to remember that those mistakes don't define you; what matters most is how you learn and grow from them. Be kind to yourself during the process of self-improvement. You are deserving of compassion and understanding, just as anyone else is.
It's admirable that you want to be better, and that desire alone shows strength and determination. Take small steps towards positive changes and celebrate every victory, no matter how insignificant it may seem. Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither is personal growth.
Remember to communicate openly and honestly with your family. They love and care about you, and they want to see you succeed and be happy. Share your struggles with them, and you'll find that they can be a valuable source of support and encouragement.
Above all, practice gratitude for the good things in your life. Focusing on what you're grateful for can help shift your mindset from negativity to positivity. Embrace the journey of self-improvement, and acknowledge that it's okay to stumble sometimes. Each setback is an opportunity to learn and become stronger.
You are capable of achieving great things and finding happiness within yourself. Keep pushing forward, and never forget that you are worth it. The world is full of possibilities, and your potential is limitless.
Believe in yourself, be kind to yourself, and take it one step at a time. You've got this! 🌟
Replyyour girlfriend is with you. if she wanted to be with someone else, she would be, and someone else would be calling her ‘girlfriend’. you certainly do always look at the negative. you could try tracking your thoughts when you’re girlfriend triggered, looking up the most common distortions people use like magnification, or overgeneralizing, and figure out which distortions you’ve been feeding yourself. if you reframe or have someone reframe what actually happened (not what you distortedly thought happened), you can reframe your thought processes each time you get triggered from that thing and learn which distortion your mind is using, to change it. a counselor would help. e.g. you think she will cheat. how often has she cheated? you think she will like someone else. how many other people have you seen her like? does she often say to you that she ‘likes’ someone? (would be a silly thing to tell your boyfriend), so I doubt she’s done that, and what distortion in your mind told you something that wasn’t real? did you think the worse with no proof? jump to conclusion with no proof? use all of nothing thinking when that isn’t real? hope that helps.
Replycommenter: *all or nothing thinking
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