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So my boyfriend and I haven together for 2+ years now and we have been having problems on and off. Some days are good but most days are just conflict. I understand that it may also be because we are total opposite. We even had a huge fight and a break up one time but before that we were having some minor problems that just piled up to be bigger. Like when ever we are sleeping he tries to touch me and even though we have already had sex, I was less fascinated by the ideas of physical touch so I just used to say no and he still didn't stop. So one time a great guy came to talk to me and made me realise that I could be treated nicely too so I decided to leave my boyfriend forever and when I did he wasn't letting me go and promised me he'll change but it was enough for me so we broke up and I wen on dates with the another guy but I couldn't really move on from my boyfriend so I ended things with that guy and we(me and my boyfriend) got back together. There was a lot of shame in me and my boyfriend used to keep bringing up about how I left and went out with other guy and tried to sleep with the other guy(I did try to sleep so that I could move on but I didn't sleep). I thought it was fair enough for him to say it because I was the one who did him wrong.
Later, it was all good and now again recently we had a fight over study related stuff. We just had the minor conflict about studying and later it got wild. My boyfriend smokes cig and weeds so I said as we are kinda growing up now(we are in our early 20s) it's time that he should start focusing on leaving smoking as it not only affects his health but also should start thinking long term effects of smoking on family. Then, all of a sudden he starts accusing me that I am always controlling and bossy because I want it my way. Fair enough of him saying that because I feel like I'm a very calculative person and I always present him with ways to do certain things but it's usually in college related stuff like study methods, presentations, etc. But I never control like he should go here and there. I only try to control college stuff and his smoking habits.
Another thing that was upsetting to me was he always drops me home after exam but yesterday he texted me that he can't drop me as he had work and to remind y'all I was sick like could barely stand as I had cough and cold so I expected maybe he would drop me but I had to stand on bus all the way home. But on the other note I said can't you postpone the work as we also have to study for exam and he started stating he had this work that work. So, I was kinda hurt but understanding about it. As I come home I see a text from him saying "I'm sorry I don't want to lie but I went out with my friends to smoke but I also did have those works" It was kinda sad for me.
No today as well we had a huge conflict and I keep calling him texting him to study but he is clearly avoiding me because I spit some real hard words when I got angry. He again brought up how I walked away with another guy and I got so mad that I brought up how he forced me for having sex when I said no and called him "a rapist". I feel like the worst person ever. So I apologized to him but he keeps avoiding me. And I don't know what to do. I just can't deem to focus on anything. Should I just walk away or still wait for him?
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I would recommend walking away especially if he will never let the thing with the other guy go
ReplyYess I mean, he himself said to me just now that we need to take a break but for like a week since we have finals coming up to focus on our individual self. I agreed
If he is mine then he will come back to me right?
ReplyAt this point it’s best for both to leave each other for the best. Just look how both of you guys are constantly fight, what’s the point of being together? The best options are sometimes the hardest to make. Just look how he won’t let go of you trying to sleep with another guy after you left him and look how you reminded him how he tried to keep pressuring you to have sex after you guys already did it. The best option is to leave each other and leave it as that.
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