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Dear C
You definitely haven’t thought of me once outside of work. I probably don’t seem like the type of person you would usually like. But I don’t know, you have this effect on me that no one has had for a long time. You are all I can think about, you make me nervous when you are around, I can’t sleep because I dream of you and then I wake up and try to remember the dream. No one’s made me feel like this for a long time.
I honestly think you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen. The way you smile is stuck in my brain. You seem so happy and kind, I really admire how you are so nice to everyone. You seem like the type of person that really cares about others. I try to be nice, but recently I may have come across as cold and distant and short tempered, but I promise you I do try to be nice and caring like you.
In my dream, you seemed to be feeling sad, and you confided in me, you then walked of and while maintaining eye contact the whole time, I told you to hurry back down so we could talk more. After that we seemed to be going somewhere, and I packed your bags in the trunk of a car. Then, I said I was going to drive them to where we are going but I wouldn’t let you in the car with me because I am a horrible driver and I was scared we might get in a accident and I did not want you to get hurt.
I genuinely just want to know if you are okay, but I am so nervous around you I can’t form normal sentences. We have never even shared a conversation just us two. You seem like you care for everyone, I just want to know if someone is caring for you, I hope someone is, I really do hope you are okay. You seem okay and happy, but I know how easy it is to fake.
It is probably for the best that I stay away from you, so I will maintain my distance, try not to look your way, and hope that I can keep this up till I leave on Thursday for 2 months. I will probably never see you again after that.
Even if I was to talk to you, and we hit it off. Nothing could happen anyways. I’m in a relationship. I don’t know whether you are. I can’t be the type of person that thinks about other girls while with one. I can’t be the type of person that would cheat on someone. Even if I wasn’t in a relationship, then I would probably just end up hurting you anyways, or you me. Even though you don’t seem like the type. But I’ve been wrong before.
I fantasise that at work when I would walk past you that I would suddenly stop you and then I would ask you to play this game with me, where everytime we cross paths at work, I would get to ask you a question about yourself
so I could get to know you better. I think of asking you questions like, what type of music you listen to, how many siblings you have, all that type of stuff, I genuinely just want to know everything about you.
I was thinking of just dropping this letter in your bag as I leave on Thursday, but I honestly think the best thing for both of us is that I leave you alone. But I just can’t get this feeling to go away, I just feel so drawn to you, I don’t know what to do. I can’t stop thinking about you. My girlfriend doesn’t deserve this, she is the only person I should be thinking about. She treats me right and loves me, she doesn’t deserve that I am having these types of thoughts about someone else. But I can’t stop thinking about her, and her smile, her voice, the little details I do know about her, such as how sometimes she’s so quite when she walks behind people that she actually accidentally scares them when they realise she’s there.
I know I need to stop, I don’t know what is wrong with me.
I hope and pray you are doing okay.
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Sounds like you are falling for her man. I think it’s a good idea to stay away if you love your gf. But speaking from experience I was in a similar position and rather than stay away, my gf and I at the time amicably split after having a conversation about what I was feeling and how I didn’t want to go behind her back and hurt her.(it was different for me though cause at the time we were doing long distance). After that I got to know the girl and she truly is the love of my life. I hope you make the best decision for you and everything turns out ok.
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