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so i have a really, really bad habit. i dont want to blame it on anyone, but back in primary school, i didnt have many friends and often felt lonely. maybe thats where it all sprouted. in middle school, i constantly felt insecure and sensitive. in junior high, i was a victim to cliques and drama. i truly had no one to go to and i felt so unbelievably shitty because of the past i went through. so, in order to patch the hole inside of my heart, i try to join friend groups on tiktok, discord, instagram, or snapchat. i even tried wizz. nothing seems to fill this void inside of me and i dont know why. i feel so dramatic when the one person i (unfortunately) attach myself to gives attention to someone else. i just want to tear my soul out and try all over again. so when someone even slightly ‘lashes out’ at me, it slices open a wound that never properly healed. i fucking hate myself.
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no one will love u more than urself. the past hasn't been kind to u. i don't whether future will be or not. but i hope u show some kindness to yourself.
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