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I've always felt like I wasn't capable of being loved enough for someone to want to spend the rest of their life with me. I always either get cheated on or people just don't want to commit to me. My current boyfriend told me that he doesn't see a future with us, and he doesn't see us getting married. He saw that future with his ex. All the things that I'm asking of him, which is to love me unconditionally, he did for his ex but not me. He's telling me that he's being 'cautious,' but it feels like he may be stuck on the idea of what he and his ex had. It hurts a lot. I feel like this is a repeat of previous relationships. It only confirms that I'm the problem, and I'm not the person that people want to spend the rest of their lives with, even though I am such a hopeless romantic.
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I'm sorry you're going thru this. Your bf sounds like a jerk. At least he's honest, but he's a jerk for saying those (unintentionally?/intentionally?) cruel things to you. But please don't take it as a reflection of yourself. It's entirely his problem.
What I've noticed about people who get dumped (as I'm assuming your bf was, if he's still obsessed) is that they glorify the relationship they lost. That's fine if they keep it in their own heads, but your bf is projecting that fake perfect relationship on you. He's using it as an excuse to judge you.
If you wanted to be a jerk (but honest), you could ask him: 'If your last relationship was so great why did it end? And are you really throwing away our relationship to chase one that clearly failed?'
Then dump him ;)
To sum up. It's NOT you! It's the guy you're with who's poisoning your mind against yourself. You sound like a wonderful person, and you're going to get everything you wanted... as long as you don't settle for less.
ReplyFirst of all, u r not the problem. Neither is he. It's just he is not over his ex. U deserve all the love not half of it.
ReplySomeone said that to me I'd be shoving him/her out the door and moving on. Make yourself available for someone who does. 8ve found keeping you intensions clear right off the go is key. Don't stoop to their level and if they keep blabbing about exes I'd bye goodbye. Keep your spirits up and charge forward. And dump the jerk. Take care.
ReplyYou’re not the problem, give yourself time. And the person for you won’t be hung up on their ex, you deserve someone who is all about you. Unfortunately we have these shitty experiences but all is not lost, take what you can from it and there’s better to come. Remember that you are whole, you are enough, and the person for you will see that and love you for who you are. There is still so much more life to live, there are so many fish in the sea. The best is yet to come! Stay encouraged and wishing you the best.
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