a warning to my future relationships.

in advance, im sorry. im sorry i left you when you loved me so much. ive done this with every boyfriend. some last a few months, others are lucky and i lose momentum sooner. i leave when i see how much you love me. i find reasons to stop liking you. im scared of your love, and all that comes with it. i dont know why i am like this. but if i were you, dont fall in love with me. im unable to return the feeling. you can hate me, you can yell and argue and ask me "why". but i have no answer. not a real one; i can find material things, like not liking your style, or the way you tie your shoes. but the real reason- it could be me. it is me. so tell me you hate me, let me be the victim because deep down i know that i am the heartbreaker. i am the evil one. i am the one who is going to hurt you,and lead you on. but i dont mean to. i wish, more than anything, that i could love someone more than myself. i want to hold someone and tell them i care. but i can never seem to stay long enough to build something so strong.

so, future boyfriend, take my advice; either run first, or stay and take what little i can give you. dont expect me to coddle you, or go to family events. stay floating on the surface, shallow. dont love me. please dont love me.