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2023 has been shit from the very beginning. So much stuff has happened in these few months that they have left me completely numb and confused. I've lost "friends" for whom I'd die for and they didn't really care - so I had to cut them off my life. I miss them so damn much but at the same time I don't want to experience all those moments they hurt me again. I'm in love with someone for more than a year that I can't have and if I let my guard down, it'll destroy me. There's even so much family drama going on and all the pressure and stress is taking me down.
I'm an artist. I paint and I write. It's just how I express. Now I can't bring myself to read a single book or write a single line. It just feels like I've lost my artistic spark. Everything is spiraling downwards and I don't know how to get myself out of this situation. I don't want it to be like this forever. I don't wanna be this soulless person I'm becoming. Sometimes I want it all to end and sometimes I just want to go on just to see how I end up in the end.
I don't know what to do. Can anyone relate?
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yeah i can totally relate with ur situation. i had so many plans for this year. but none of them work. and now i feel i haven't done enough, or too much time has passed. u r an artist, right? u can make some art out of this phase. i am sure there are many people out there who would relate to it.
ReplyI've heard that people turn their pain or trauma into beautiful art but I just can't. I don't know why, I'm afraid to start.
ReplyIf you have lost interest in the things you do and don't want to do anything you could be depressed. It might be worth seeing a doctor to find out.
ReplyI can't see a doctor really. I'm a minor so I'll need my parents' permission which I will never get.
ReplyI can relate to you on some levels. But, my advice to you is just take all the bad things going on in your life and turn them into good ones. Use them for inspiration for art and writing. Sometimes you have to wait out the bad things, to get the good things you truly deserve.
ReplyI'm trying to do that. But stuff keeps happening and whatever progress I've made till then, just vanishes. I'm trying though.
ReplyDamn...This almost sounds exactly like what I'm going through. What's been helping me, as stupid as it sounds, is a Tiktok video I found. I'm not sure what happened to the video, but it's of this old guy talking about how he's tired of seeing young kids complain on Tiktok.
To sum up the video, he said that, even though he's experienced a lot of hardships and death recently, he still smiles because there's crafts that he can share with others. Things that he can do to help people. Things he can create, so that even when people go, he'll still have the ability to give.
I'm introverted, and I haven't had many friends growing up. To be quite honest with you, without counting my sisters, I only have 1 friend. The guy I was madly in love with hates me now, even though I've yearned for him on and off for 10 years. The friend I do have is so dependent on me to the point where I oftentimes regret making the decision to move out with them. I try not to bother my family with my troubles because I'm supposed to be independent and embracing life. But the reality is that I feel alone all the time.
Even though I feel this way, I know that, no matter who leaves my life for whatever reason, they can't leave and take the skills I've developed over the years, they can't take the joy I have when I'm creating something.
Even when I don't feel like it, I've been drawing because it's something they can't take away from me. When I'm drawing, the only person I have to impress is myself. And when I'm done, I can show the world how great my art looks. I may not have the best communication skills. I may not have the right words to say. I may not be able to fit in, but I know for a fact that I can make people happy by creating something. And on some days, I feel like that's enough for me to let go, bit by bit, of the hurt and pain I've been dealt.
ReplyOh my goodness I'm sorry if this is too long
ReplyNo, it's okay. I appreciate it. It's just that I don't have the freedom to do these things. I want to write and paint but being a minor I'm under strict supervision of parents who consider anything other than studies, a waste of time. So it's hard getting some time for myself and when I actually get it I don't know what to do.
ReplyIs it possible to do some of your drawing and writing at school? Back in elementary, middle school, and even high school, whenever I got done with all the work my teachers gave me, I would draw. Heck, I would even draw at the cafeteria sometimes. I remember my classmates making comics and talking about their story ideas amongst each other, too. Just make sure that it's okay with the teachers first before you start drawing in class. Most teachers don't mind but some do.
ReplyNo it's not. Absolutely not possible. All I want to do is sit somewhere peaceful, put on some relaxing music with amazing beats and write whatever I feel like.
ReplyWhenever you have a little bit of time like this to talk and reply, try to fit a little bit of time to write about the things you wanna write about. You can even share it with us as well. You may not be able to sit somewhere peaceful, you may not be able to listen to that relaxing music (I'm not sure how strict your parents are), but you have time to reply and write to us. Even if it's for five minutes, that's enough time to write about something, you know? Don't worry about the negatives to it. Your studies are important, but so is your happiness. So even if it's for 5 minutes, try to see if you can do it.
ReplyYeah. I did write something today, maybe not my best work but still it's something. Also I started reading a new novel today. I wasn't able to concentrate on reading anything at all.
ReplyI want to draw and write and read books all day. I want some time of my own, to heal and process but being a minor with strict parents, I'm under constant supervision and they think reading and writing are a waste of time. All I should do I study and be devoted to it. So I don't really get time for myself. When I get some limited time, I'm confused about how to spend it.
ReplyI think you should let go of the bad energy and negativity that flows your mind.i know it is hard to let go but realising there is more to you than what you believe in may give you a headstart to infinite possibility.you are lucky you have an artistic mind I wish I had that .see...you are blessed than you think
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