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I'm a 20 year-old woman and I'm about to start my first year of uni in two weeks. And to be honest, I'm absolutely terrified. I have friends saying that they are super excited for their first year and older people saying it's going to be the best time of my life. I just don't feel the excitement other people feel and it makes me feel lonely.
I have always done pretty well in school, so I'm not worried about that aspect of uni. I'm more scared about the new people and new situations. I know absolutely no one who is in the same university as me, so I'm really scared that I won't make friends.
In my country, there are a lot of organized events and parties at university, especially for first year students. These events are not compulsory, but everyone always says you pretty much need to go to all of them or you'll be an outsider. Everyone seems so excited for these events, but this is what scares me the most. I get really overwhelmed in big groups of people. My social skills aren't the best either so I'm scared I'll be perceived as weird. I think this fear comes from being bullied in high school for not really fitting in.
I think it's worth mentioning that I have social anxiety and that I have a hard time coping with change. I have gone to therapy before and gotten my anxiety sort of in control, but something about this new change in my life has made it come back.
I feel a sense of guilt too. In my country, getting into university isn't the easiest thing. I have gotten a lot of congratulations over the weeks, but it all just overwhelms me. Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely grateful, but I can't talk about the fact that I'm not looking forward to university without getting called ungrateful.
I like the major I chose and I'm technically excited to study it. But it's hard to stay excited for anything when my fear for the social aspect of uni clouds everything else. It's like I can't even look forward to anything else, because this anxiety is all I can think about. I also feel so lonely with these thoughts, especially when I keep hearing my friends talk about how they're so excited to meet new people at their university and have fun at parties.
I guess I'm looking to see if I'm the only one in this situation, so any support or advice is appreciated.
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I think you are not alone in this particular situation. I was also scared of people, especially strangers. And in uni, there are a lot of people my age and I am scared of them. On my first day, I don't know about the campus, which room my classes are going to be held and I don't know anyone. So as I step inside the uni I feel myself completely afraid and lonely. During my whole journey from home to uni, I was thinking how am I going to do it. And I am a person who usually doesn't initiate first I don't know why. And that time I feel like disappearing somewhere, I was praying that nobody notices me. I was like hell afraid. But I can show it on my face obviously how can I?? And after the class ends while stepping outside I was like oh!! Great I do something real, I feel like I conquer the war. And feel so proud of myself as I handle everything on my own. And this is the start from where I feel a little bit more confident about meeting people. And yes, now I am in my second year, I still feel the same, when I see a lot of people gathering somewhere but not as much as I used to feel before, I feel nervous and it's not nervousness, it's something else, what I want that time to do is to escape. But I still improving myself. And I think it's okay not to be socially active until and unless you are happy. And meeting new people is interesting what if one of them becomes your irreplaceable person? Who knows and yes they are almost the same as you are why are you afraid of It? Just enjoy yourself and if you can't able to do it, don't force yourself. Okay, and everything is going to be fine and in your favor. AND BEST Of lUCk!!!!!!
ReplyYou will get used to it. Everything seems difficult in starting.
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