I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

no it'll never be enough. I can't say sorry and say it as if it would fix everything. I was distant, I didn't read your texts, I ignored you, I did the worst possible things and I'm still wondering how you still give a fuck about me. I'm the worst friend ik I am. I'll always be. All you ever wanted was me, and I'll never get you back. I sit in my room all day still thinking about it. I'm selfish and an asshole I know. You tell me it's okay but it's back to the same old shit. I'll never tell you the reason, I can't ever explain. I feel so guilty but I guess this is what I deserve. I wish you the best. I wish you the life you've always wanted. I wish you would look at yourself the way you did when I wasn't around. I wish you told me I wasn't worth it so then I could leave and let you be. Tell me to go back and I will. I swear to fucking God I will.

I'll leave, and I'll let go. Just tell me to go.