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one thing that ive learned from the past three years of highschool and becoming an incoming senior is to just appreciate what i have. ever since the beginning of freshmen year and losing my best friend, i've been searching for something more to fulfil something in my heart. ive gone through so many friend groups, ive met so many people, ive talked to many people, but i never truly felt whole. maybe because of past traumas ive just become accustomed to the idea of needing to always fulfil a gap, when i could just appreciate what i have right in front of me right now. i started to lose my faith and spirituality because i was so focused on something that i would never really achieve because not everything is perfect. im not gonna get everything in life. i dont know why i always felt like i needed to have something else.
i had just started my current boyfriend just this past june, and we've been talking for about 6-7 months. we've known each other since middle school but we were never that close. just from the past months, ive actually learned a lot. one of those things is just feeling content. in my past relationship, i felt like i always needed to fulfil something in myself that i was trying to find in the other person which didn't make the relationship feel as genuine. in this one, its not perfect, we still have our highs and lows, but one thing is i actually do feel content. i don't feel that desperation. the amount of communication and trust that is put into the relationship has changed my perspective on relationships completely. ive learned to be even more patient with the other person. i don't have to get everything that i want, there will be a time for that.
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