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The house is a mess. My family don't try to clean, and I've given up. It's been like this since my mom passed away over a decade ago, and the house is horrible. My older brother, who is in his 30's, won't do anything to help, and whenever I try to clean it's a struggle to get my dad to help. So everything is piled up, my brother has his own freaking empty bottles on the side of his couch where he sleeps like his own freaking hill and there's just no freaking hope. And our dog passed away so nobody wants to even try anything, when before I'd try to clean up at least once or twice a week. I feel like we've all given up, and it's embarrassing and shameful especially when people come inside to use the bathroom. Everything is nasty. But it's like we're stuck in this horrible mess. I know it's because we haven't gotten over my mom's death and also given up on stuff, but still. I hate it and I hate that when I try, nobody else wants to help. I clean up until the house is pretty clean, and my brother just freaking makes his own mountain of empty water bottles. I clean, and my brother just adds more to clean and won't help. So I've give up, because why should I clean if he just makes more and more mess for me then tells me to "clean more bitch". It's so tiring. Add the fact that my brother is controlling and verbally abusive. It makes me not want to even try, and I'm just so mentally tired of this. Of him. Of the mess. Of the nervousness of people coming in and seeing. Of the embarrassment and shame when they do come in and see the horrible mess we live in. It's so freaking embarrassing. And then my brother immediately being mean the minute those people leave because we didn't tell them they can't come in. It's just a horrible situation, and I hate it.
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Do you have anyone you know who your brother trusts? If so, maybe you could see if that person could talk to your brother
Otherwise, if it's way too out of hand and you feel you have nowhere to turn, and if the conditions of your home are unhealthy to live in, you could try calling social services/a social worker and explain your situation
ReplyI've tried to have my brother speak to someone he trusts, and to have him go to therapy. He just gets angry and throws things Everytime. Sadly I'm already 30 and don't have the funds to move out. It's why I still live with my dad and brother. I just have a dollar to my name rn. And we struggle to even get food. It's just a bad situation that I feel trapped in. And I feel bad for my dad because he puts up with my horrid anxiety and panic attacks. I just wish everyone would help me clean this house cause it's so bad.
Thanks for taking the time to try to help, it really means so much. I don't know what to do, but the fact that you listened and suggested some stuff makes me feel less horrible.
ReplyCan you ask your dad to work with you to clean something small?
Cleaning something small each day adds up quick!
Maybe ask him, hey could we work on the kitchen together for 10 minutes? One sweeps, one goes through a drawer, something like that
Even 5 minutes if 10 minutes is too much
ReplyYeah i can do that! Good idea! Thank you so much!! You're right, if we do something small each day it'll eventually get the whole house clean which will be so good for us all and out mental health too! Thank you so so much for the suggestion!!!
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