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These days I feel like there's a hole in my heart. I've not realised this until now, but sometimes I cry for no reason. I always wear that smile but my heart's just crying. I've got dreams and ambitions, but I can think straight and work on them. I'm a freshman and studies just took a wild turn everything feels hard, and I'm having difficulty understanding. I'm feeling lazy, hopeless and tired all the time. I've got dreams and ambitions but I can help but procrastinate, I have the urging desire to achieve my goals but I'm no way close to even starting them. I'm, always being compared with my friends and family, no one seems to understand what I'm going through. I come from a family who think that depression anxiety and autism are just exaggerated. My dad was an elite student and has a good job, my mom was smart but she never got the opportunity to go to a good school. My parents have high hopes for me, I remember when I was young I was asked what I wanted to grow up to be, and when I said that I wanted to be a teacher I was greeted with disappointed faces of my family. They insisted that I take up medical science. The incident from my childhood made me feel that my parents can decide my future. Since a very young age I've started taking foundation courses, but I was never able to please my parents, I've been always compared to my cousins, recently my cousin made it to the world record and things didn't get any better for me...........................
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Stop trying to please your parents and don't compare yourself to your cousins or anyone else. This is YOUR life so do your own thing.
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