Feelings with my bestfriends old situationship

1 year ago · 4 · Relationships, +3

308

(rewrite) I have never really thought about it until recentlyish, my best mate had a situationship with this girl but she wanted more and he didn't express enough that he didn't... Anyway ending not in the best way and they dont talk now, no bad blood just dont talk. Me and her have remained good friends and we have started talking everyday for about a month now, We got back into contact earlier this year when we saw each other in the gym. Not sure if she is single but she might be, i think she is a great girl, good head on her shoulders, bright future... and maybe without the context of her and my best friend i might of gone out with her or at least hooked up with her..

But i remain loyal to him because we live with each other and it's going excellent and plus his new gf is quite toxic and would get way too jealous if anything happened.

any thoughts?

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Novni Guest · 1 year ago
My thoughts on this matter of yours would be why don't you try to ask your friend directly what he thinks and how he would feel, about you potentially dating the girl he had a previous situationship with?
Just be honest with him about what you really think and how you truly feel regarding this girl. You can even express to him that you don't want to disrespect him by any means, as you do value the friendship you have with him and wanted to be informed on if he would or wouldn't be comfortable with it. Listen to what your friend has to say for it and then you can go on from there. Your friend will either tell you he is or isn't comfortable about you pursuing the girl he had a situationship with. If he happens to say that he isn't comfortable with you pursuing this girl, then ask him why and discuss it maturely without arguing. It may bother and hurt you alittle while if you truly like this girl but at least you have your answer. You can look at it that you were brave enough to be honest and asked. If it isn't this girl then you'll find someone else eventually just as awesome and who is interested in you too. Another bonus is you wouldn't have to be too worried about your friend being uncomfortable. Try to remain hopeful by moving forward by focusing on hobbies, skills and other healthy habits if you need to for awhile. Go to therapy if you need to work on yourself and can get the help for whatever you may struggle with.
If your friend says he is comfortable and okay with you pursuing the girl he had a situationship with then go for it.
The only thing is i really would suggest that you thinking about it and really consider if you truly believe that you can give this girl what your friend couldn't give to her.
Ask yourself if you can you be transparent about what your intentions are with this girl? If the girl rejects you which can also happen, try not to take it too much to heart by holding resentment, bitterness and anger towards her. Everyone has experienced some form of rejection within their lives, don't feel like you're alone and can't grow from that. It's never a nice feeling being rejected but we must learn how to cope with it in the best way possible and move on from it.
I don't understand what the new girlfriend has anything to do with and say about this girl? How does she have any revalance towards this girl? How can she be jealous about a person that came previously before her? Your friend had a fall out situationship with this girl and there's no bad blood, that's all it is. Your friend has clearly moved on and is with this new girlfriend. If you happen to date the girl don't put your focus on this new girlfriend and let your friend deal with his new girlfriend respectfully. Try to be supportive towards your friend if he truly has a toxic new girlfriend. The choice isMy thoughts on this matter of yours would be why don't you try to ask your friend directly what he thinks and how he would feel, about you potentially dating the girl he had a previous situationship with?
Just be honest with him about what you really think and how you truly feel regarding this girl. You can even express to him that you don't want to disrespect him by any means, as you do value the friendship you have with him and wanted to be informed on if he would or wouldn't be comfortable with it. Listen to what your friend has to say for it and then you can go on from there. Your friend will either tell you he is or isn't comfortable about you pursuing the girl he had a situationship with. If he happens to say that he isn't comfortable with you pursuing this girl, then ask him why and discuss it maturely without arguing. It may bother and hurt you alittle while if you truly like this girl but at least you have your answer. You can look at it that you were brave enough to be honest and asked. If it isn't this girl then you'll find someone else eventually just as awesome and who is interested in you too. Another bonus is you wouldn't have to be too worried about your friend being uncomfortable. Try to remain hopeful by moving forward by focusing on hobbies, skills and other healthy habits if you need to for awhile. Go to therapy if you need to work on yourself and can get the help for whatever you may struggle with.
If your friend says he is comfortable and okay with you pursuing the girl he had a situationship with then go for it.
The only thing is i really would suggest that you thinking about it and really consider if you truly believe that you can give this girl what your friend couldn't give to her.
Ask yourself if you can you be transparent about what your intentions are with this girl? If the girl rejects you which can also happen, try not to take it too much to heart by holding resentment, bitterness and anger towards her. Everyone has experienced some form of rejection within their lives, don't feel like you're alone and can't grow from that. It's never a nice feeling being rejected but we must learn how to cope with it in the best way possible and move on from it.
I don't understand what the new girlfriend has anything to do with and say about this girl? How does she have any revalance towards this girl? How can she be jealous about a person that came previously before her? Your friend had a fall out situationship with this girl and there's no bad blood, that's all it is. Your friend has clearly moved on and is with this new girlfriend. If you happen to date the girl don't put your focus on this new girlfriend and let your friend deal with his new girlfriend respectfully. Try to be supportive towards your friend if he truly has a toxic new girlfriend. The choice is all yours to decide in from there and i hope it helps.
All le best
all yours to decide in from there and i hope it helps.
All le best to you...
Reply
- Novni Guest · 1 year ago
  Thank you very much for your comment you have answered all my needs, I hope more people like you exist on this website or the world in general,
  all the best.
  Reply
  - Novni Guest · 1 year ago
    I actually was super tired when I wrote this and realized now i was repeating the same thing twice hahaha!!
    I know how to write and I'm not crazy just to let you know!
    I'm glad I could give some kind of advice and answered all your needs.
    Xx
    Reply
    - Novni Guest · 1 year ago
      haha yea no worries I did think it was quite a large response at first lol
      so again thanks for your time x
      Reply

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