That Should be Me... (from his point of view)

She has this look- a glistening sparkle- something about her catches my eye

I'm about to tell her how I feel but I choke up and she turns to me and hugs me goodbye.

Whatever held me back felt like a hand, someone pulling me away

But I just wanted to look at her, hold her hand, and ask her if she could forever stay.

She looks at him with this adoring look, her cold soft hands running down his chin

I'm standing a few feet away, watching her love the wrong person, and my heart feels so extremely thin.

I'm behind this red line, forcing me not to cross, for I could start a mess.

If I could say something, anything, it could cause her so much stress.

She's telling him "I love you" with her arms around his shoulders and "I love you too" is what he told her

Is it selfish that I'm waiting for her toxic love to be over?

Should I stay or go? What does my heart want? to be happy or to set her free?

I'm watching her love the wrong person and, in my mind, I say "that should be me..."

I'm back at home, listening to Spotify, where the lyrics speak what my heart can't

I'm wishing she were with me so she could listen, really listen, to how I rant.

My phone is buzzing, my heart is pounding, should I answer or should I not?

I see her contact, which makes me smile, and my heart ties in a knot.

She's making me laugh, I forget almost everything and I'm as happy as I can be

But then I'm thinking, "god she's so beautiful, why can't she be with me?"

The call lasts for hours, the time gets late and we're having so much fun

Should I tell her how I feel? It's now or never or wait- will that make me look dumb?

She's getting tired, her eyes are heavy and she's telling me "I'm heading to sleep"

Should I stop to tell her I'm hers forever and that my heart is hers to keep?

I'm waiting for the day, finally, for this toxic love to end

For the day where I no longer have to say, "that should be me instead"...

Love, officiallyy_unknown <3