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"hey" a word that i want to tell you. i want to ask you how was your day, what are you doing, and just talk about our lives in the moment. but i was shy. very shy. i cant tell you how i really feel about you, i cant tell you how i wait for days and days just for your texts. days turns to weeks, and weeks turns to months. and i was still waiting. i dont know if i really like you, i was confused, really confused about the way i felt about you. i started to dig into that. finally i realized, i do like you. a lot. i dont know if you ever feel the same way about me, so i started to worry about my feelings. do you like me? or you're just being too nice to me? i started fantasizing things and ideas that would never happen to me. we talk about random stuffs and all. even our smallest intereactions, it makes me so happy. i just wanted to talk to you. but im scared to text first. thoughts roam inside my head telling me that what if you're busy or what if im just hoping for something that will lead me to being hurt. i started being delusional for the smallest things you do. but deep inside, i know i was just trying to lift up my hopes and prevent myself from being sad. cause im scared. im scared of knowing the real reason. im scared of reality. im scared that one day it was just me who was hoping. it was only me who was falling for you. i never plan on confessing. i'd rather be waiting for you to confess first even though i know it wont happen soon enough. because it could be just me. only me, who was hoping for these things. yet i still wanted to tell you how much i like you. how much i was happy talking to you. how much you made me feel butterlies. i wanted to tell you how i make songs about you. i wanted to tell you that everyday i think about you. but i cant. because im scared.
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ReplyI did confess. Because he randomly replied to a story of mine and asked its for whom....he messaged me often after that. We are good friends now. I wrote him a love letter. He was grateful. But he made it clear how he liked me but was not ready to be emotionally attached. He just wants to enjoy life now. PS: he got cheated by his girlfriend whom he really liked 3 months ago. We have stopped texting too much.but we still do talk... It's mostly me texting him first but we still do. I once asked him if he gets irritated but he replied in negative. I hope he loves me just the way I do. He talks about seeing things in the future but okay. Let's see. I really get hurt from my sky high expectations from him but okay.
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