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A day that got me through the roller coaster of different emotions
8 months ago · 0 · Secret Talk, +4 · Explicit
138
Ok....me ( A)
So i know it's not with everyone but still......I always get that feeling which tells whether something good will happen or bad ......but rarely I get the one with mixed signs..........
And today I got the same mixed one
Although it was fine after sometime......I thought thing has happened......which was I got to know my friend is not inviting those people who are not considered good by my elders.........and I was like ok.... done........
But....when I went there in friends party............ during conversation I got to know about a person (let's say S)who was a friend of mine ......and more importantly I and that person was going to be in relationship 🙂.....but then I don't know why why...I didn't rejected nor do I said yes......what the f**k I did....I don't even know myself............we were on very good terms but after a year it was like why I stopped talking to him .....why.........why.....and maybe I was so stupid or...I was tooo mad.....Idk but I regret......then that person transferred and then we just broke up i.e. completely that friend bond was also invisible then..........then back to present....after 2 years i.e. now .........my friends mentioned S
Actually he wasn't too good looking or someone who can be so admired or people chasing S ......still I liked S
1 friend ( let's say V) said S used to like V but as V didn't gave any sign to him...so they aren't together right now or else V would have start a relationship with S even if it is for timepass also S used to show sign of liking as by putting on goggles asking V how S is looking and rest of my friends agrees........i was like ok fine it was 4 years ago...but we were close 2 years ago so...... It is nothing to be jealous of so.....I just ignored also..... (*Note:- I always had trust issues so there was none who knew what happened back then or I was even close to S back then......).........it was fine.......since I wasn't on any social media platform except whatsapp and telegram that also for information and you know little chatting with friends and all..........
My friends talked about how much S has changed in looks and S is more good looking and so admirable on which V said she regretted not taking those signs into consideration
Everyone said S now knows beat boxing .....and has become mascular
I asked what and who so that no one find out ........I asked them to show me thos beat boxing and the recent photos
When I saw S after 3 years with no face covering like full with moustache and beard ........ah......S was quite handsome ....I was like........he is really changed.... especially with those specs........
But I didn't utter a word or expressed myself coz it might cause me trouble since when we interacted 1st due to S and my sister's my family knew each other somehow
And they don't really like as teenagers parents doesn't like interaction between 2 opposite sex teenager
So I saw he was really doing well quite handsome actually I regretted for real at that time
You can say I after 3 years I again fall for S not normally but with S looks this Time not like last time I e. Falling with time.............
So gossips continued.........but I somehow was summoned by someone ........I lost all the interaction and talks going on at that time.......I just can't stop but think of S and our times.....and what I saw Today ..........it was wonderful to see S again but since we got apart .......I don't know what I was feeling
Then I remembered ohhhhh...so This was that mixed feeling result
The thing I thought was just aese hi
This was the exact thing that has to happen with me
Then let's fast forward to when I reached home
After reaching home .......of course after such a day I couldn't help but think of S
This result in such a condition taht I was full of something I don't know...
But I wanted to talk to S or message
I had only S number (which was remembered by me by heart since we used to talk so much before and since I hadn't saved his no so infront of me 24 hrs so how couldn't someone learn ).......so after a lot of struggling I called him( you can also feel na Now I'm thinking why I did so ahhhhhhh!!!! the story has just begun......spice is still there )
You'll be startled after knowing what I said during our call
1st rehearsed what to say....I think I was quite stupid ahhhhhh
Now .......as call was picked up .......
Me: hello...!
S: ....
Me:hello!....( aside:Why not talking speak!!)
S: hello who's there?
Me: name.!
S: O! YES ..
ME: HOW ARE YOU ?...ARE YOU ALRIGHT..?( Whyyyyyyyy I said taht ahhhhh. It's so..... embarassing now as I think of it )
S: yes ...with god's grace I'm all good .....why.!?
Me: unh..thne it's good ..! ( Why became a wet cat!!!!!!:(((.....)
S: hm why!!!?... what happened
Me: nothing just Heard something happened to you ..!( Ahiyaah .....sach a lame excuse really very lame...man ...!!!!!)
S: no no it's all ok Im doing good ..!? What about you how you doing.!?
Me: doing ok ( asking me really......。◕‿◕。)
S: good.......how studies and all going on .!?
Me : just fine...what about you.!(really a wet cat....very innocent ಠಿ_ಠ,)
S: mine also good....btw which major are you pursing for !?
Me: ( I told you before didn't even remembered this....humph!) Non medical
S: ooo!same......so what did you think of competitive exam and all !
Me: ( what so exciting ...... planning to do same .....to be true I got the vibe as if he wants to say since we have same major so what are deciding for your future and all)....... nothing really just concentrating on school level academics......!
S: hm......what about family everything ok.!?
Me:( family......give your thought of my reply.....or you're disappointed.....!?)
Hm... everything ok ......!!!where are you know a days ( actually I knew this,.....hehe...still asked)
S: name of place.....
Me : hm ..... thats good.....and......
S: okie then *-------*(formal bye bye)
Me:(wtf ) hm take care babyee( informal ( why I should also said formal one..!!!!!)
After 10-15min
Chatting ......since I want to chat with S so.... shamelessly after a lame excuse another one which gave me a lunch noo noo a kick on my face.
Continue reading please:
Me : yo S ( name )
One more thing forgot to ask and calling again doesn't seems a Little ..........
S: yes A(name)
Me: you have got a girlfriend.!
( I said na .....it's more lame......but now think of this it's obviously showing now that.............that call wasn't for taht excuse but main purpose was thsi...
.buy actually it wasn't I don't even now what I wanted to ask then this matter is on another level)
S: is that a question?
Me:( man....I missed only a ? And you're correcting my symbolic errors ahhhhhh....). .........?*
S: why do you want to know?
Me: ( I actually don't really remembered exact word but probably almost same as above)
After a gap of 2-3 min since I don't want to show him why I'm asking or what since I don't know myself ..........
But what I said was so lame I'm really embarassed to even think of it)
Reply: umh.....just
Was worried you'll get someone not sahii
It's fine if you aren't comfortable
(See I told you na....what worried and what not sahii.......ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......but what made me angry was what he said as a reply)
S: no it's chill
?below one is for my question about girlfriend)
*I DON'T FIND ANY REASON TO SHARE SUCH THINGS WITH YOU A(name)*
( This one for my worring message)
*😂AREEE....I HAVE BIG SISTERS TO lOOK FOR THAT .......😂😅YOU(formal) DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT THAT
( Hahaha ........nicee na I also think so........ really filled with embarassment...ahhhhhh
......I hate it )
Me: ooh okie then
Take care
Babye
S: bye (formal)
You too take care
Me : reply to formal bye with formal bye
(¯\_( ͠° ͟ʖ °͠ )_/¯Hhhh..........now I think I was an idiot.....why did I di all this just gir this reply....ahhhhhhhh.... but you know I somehow feell although shamelessly maybe he said those sister and find reason message to make me say more...idk.... just maybe find reason for so that I can say that I am your friend or I'll say my inner words........ahhh.. complicated.....but then I think hehas become quite good looking but I'm becoming more worse .........maybe it's nit gonna happen or also my family won't agree ....whatsoever
But he shouldn't hve said that it hurted me........humph!!!!!
Whatsoever I deleted his no and then
Now I'll study Hard so thst will got in non medical best country uni and will shock him or revenge him
But no matter what happen after today although before Also.but now again after such a thing I Still anticipate his message .........ahhh..............these feelings are hard to carry for me................leave it I'll study Hard........so
好好学习
天天向上
加油啊
你可以的宝贝
きにしないで
がんばってください
( Yes yes.....ihave majored in Chinese to a medium level along with Japanese with same medium level)
Thats all for today guyzzzz
If you have read my day fully ... I'm really grateful to you
And I hope and wish you'll get what you want ......and keep going .... fighting!!!!!!!!(⊃。•́‿•̀。)⊃
Signing off.!
A
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