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When I was 7, Me and my parents+uncle,aunt, and cousins were sitting at the dinner table and my parents were talking about me to my uncle and aunt, and I dont remember exactly what they were saying, but I know it was negative. Then my cousin said "Shes just being herself!" and then my parents proceeded to say, very loudly, "THATS THE PROBLEM!!!" in a mostly serious way. My uncle and aunt then laughed. I was and still am hurt and confused by that situation because, I was a good kid. I excelled in school, extremely kind, and was very obedient. Am I being irrational about this??
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No, you're not irrational. it's your right to be hurt by words other people say, even if their intention wasn't to hurt you at the time. Sometimes parents, family and other in general say things trying to sound "funny" and don't really think about the implications and hurt they cause. If that still bothers you, maybe try talking it out with then, explain how it still hurts you to this day. sometimes you just need to put it out of your chest to start healing.
ReplyI'm middle aged now but, when I was young, I didn't have a good relationship with my father. In fact, it's probably easier to say he didn't have a good relationship with me. He had become addicted to drugs and alcohol so his relationship, I fear, was with them.
Luckily, my mother has always been awesome and my rock.
In my late teens, I was old enough to be out in the world - college, moving for jobs, etc. I had a strong fascination for technology and knew I wanted to work with computers to some degree as a career path and pushed myself in that direction as I navigated the waters. Some years had passed. I didn't yet have a good paying position but I had entered the field and, behind me, were a list of accomplishments like degrees and certifications. I can remember my father telling me that I was wasting my time and money and pretty much laughed at the fact that I was on a technical track.
But, as the years went by, he stayed on the bottom - small, crappy places to live and driving vehicles that barely ran. I kept climbing the ladder, earning raises and promotions regularly. My life kept improving (from a financial perspective that is) - I had a small apartment, I got a larger apartment, I started renting a nice house, I purchased a small house, I bought a brand-new large home and dido for my vehicle situation. In all my years, he had only taken me on vacation once in my life and that was to a place only a few hours from home. I've taken my kids on vacation every year since they were born.
At any rate, my father and I would speak and then get away from each for a long time - months or years even, before speaking again. From time to time, though, I would think about his comment and my career. I could so easily have smeared this across his face but he wasn't worth it. He passed away several years ago but, even still, I think about that sometimes.
Your situation may be different. We understand your parents said something that upset you but we're not sure what the relationship is like. Are you all typically getting along? Are you not happy, generally speaking, being under the roof with them? Additional information could clear things up a bit but, either way, it sounds rude for them to have said such a thing.
From the little bit you've provided, I can only gather that your life is blossoming in ways that your parents can't really understand and, for this reason, they've made fun of you for it (this is something we typically see in grade school children). It may pop in your head from time to time but, don't let it slow you down. Keep moving forward in the direction of life that you excel at or are in love with and watch your life grow and get better in "all the ways" over time. They may not understand it, and they may make fun of you for it, but you'll be happy in your own world and that's what's most important here.
Wishing you the best as you move forward.
Thanks...
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